my improv fantasy

MY BLOG

2008-02-25T13:03:00.000-08:00

BLOG! BLOG! BLOG! Does anyone read this? Should I really have a blog? Do I really have anything to say? I just want to play! I started all this at the behest of Yang Miller, and continued at the behest of Chris O'Neil; I see it going nowhere and saying nothing! Any comments?

Improdome 8/29/07

2007-08-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

Boyfriends betray feelings in her heart. Wake up poets and mortals besieged as you are. Sing it, ring it, bling it. You smell like my dad. Like now and someday I'll grow up. Money can't take away the ache inside. Did you get to meet my mother? Ten thousand volts of dead. Swim away like a gold fish. I'll get away in your car. You wear the tights. It's my home now.

Improdome 8/1/07

2007-08-02T17:15:00.000-07:00

I don't understand it: IT: the effulvial jam in the either: the rock that makes you roll: the thing that jams your poll: you dig? The cosmic glue: the petroleum fire: the atomic split: the booze that makes you cruise. Well, it was there tonight. Some memorable quotes: "We're going to have some fun tonight." "She thinks shes so great." "We can make another, right." "There's a fine line between being courteous and being truthful." "I think outside the box." "Was that a hint for something?" "Really makes you think." "Your counter information is as valid as his." "I'm sick of it." "Fried chicken will grow that." "You getting along despite the different religions?" "I just want to make it perfect for you." That was my 89 Audi. I was skidding into the driveway." "It's not that amazing, it's genetics." "This time it's for real." "The sun set is really pretty today." "I really feel bad." "His terrifying genius helped him build that terrible bomb." "I may be pregnant by a crystal meth addict." "We both know our own problems." "You drink a lot and theres a good chance you're going to get pregnant." "Oh to fall off the dildo of life."

Improdome 7/25/07

2007-07-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

Some memorable quotes: "You got the studio all day now." "Well he used the N word against me." "We said no bad memories." " Just give me a hug in front of everybody." "Unfortunately I do, I went to a very bad High School." "It'll take years to prove it." "What is it you do again?" "Lets class up the joint." "It did take a little bit of guts." "You can have him for now." "Oh wait, I should plug it in." "I'm not trying to take the magic out of it." "That was fun last night, wasn't it?" "I had this done once before." "Do you want a relationship based on decit?" "His mind is a weapon." "I didn't want to die tonight." "Silence is the weapon of music."

Improdome 7/18/07

2007-07-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

Some notable quotes: "The way his una brow was furrowed." "That was the most awsome night of my life." "That doesn't sound right at all." "You sound crazy." "We're not going to talk about last time." "This is going to make a lot of money for us." "I need to feel needed sometimes." "There are invisible assisans." "You don't own anything in this apartment, you never did!""I think our relationship has become like this spaghetti: bland." "It's what I do." "All that hate is going to ruin this graham cracker." "It's almost like dad didn't die." "It's a sign of oppression." "I think people expect this to happen in rest stops." "Call me by my tranny name."

Improdome 7/11/07

2007-07-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

Like seltzer bubbles in a fluted glass imbibed in little sips of delight. No taste no real flavor, just imagination conjured luxury of minds' eye. Grabbing crotches -- really! Medieval feining damsels in distress -- take you dog out on date night -- Spanish musicians -- Que pasa my dear, happy New Year -- Dance and ride walk back, hide. New characters morph the page just yak, yak, yak and give sage advice not the spice. Bugs crawl through mind cheese, permutations are the saga that never changes but is never the same. How can this be? You have to see and do -- Yoo hoo, i mean you. Wars start over egocentric nonsense bottled up inside. Will improv get it out? Don't hide -- ride on a greater vibratory existencial, metaphoric, agorphic, hemophoric, delorphic, retorical bull. In your mine, and remember be kind in life. It's OK to be a jerk on stage or be selfish on stage or kill on stage. Leave all the junk on stage! PEACE

Improdome 6/27/07

2007-06-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

Improdome danced around tonight. Scenes moved and a lot of it was fun ... but ... but ... but -- no life lessons -- fun, but ... not much plot or theme. Anyway, I'm as guilty as anyone ... excuse ... excuse ... excuse. Group mind is tough to establish when we're playing with people we do not know well --- And some people talk too much! There is the miracle of the pause to think --- energize --- relax --- and reboot into the next thought which begets action and reaction in the context of a cogent reality; tough when scene partners are all over the place. It's all good though! We hit it, and if we don't, it is still a learning experience.

Improdome 6/20/07

2007-06-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

Real cigarettes burning fakely, cooking in the oven over bakely. Die Die Die and rise again, abortion doctor makes me yen for fake Japanese blow in the breeze while talk'in nicely with language spicy. You motha screams in your dreams. Guru girls look'in nice want to bang them once twice thrice. Barking dogs, flailing nerds, starting it all with just one word. Curdling laughs, yawns, dawn a new day in a new way, winding the clock back to then. When you ask in the den. Flip flop back and forth look'in through the night, next word insight, or maybe just fly a kite. Answers are never clear or right, sometimes reality bites with protents of things to come. Maybe so you f'in bum. Sling your butt and your junk. Descend, fall, slide into monk like aura for you'll wake up tomorra alone or with someone. No souvineers don't you hope. Don't want to see Doctor with his stethescope, nope, nope, nope. So remember boy and girl, or boy and boy, or girl and girl, use protection, inspection and introspection.

Improdome 6/13/07

2007-06-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

Flippent florettes flossing fastedioously with fortunes anticipated -- Yeah those of lazy bones work hones fruit of labor and loin; so don't perloin things not yours -- boars, whores, smores, snores. Bastards betray and sway, hurray, OK, but get laid with the maid bade farewell to hell with a dinging bell -- oh well do tell, yell loudly so every one can hear my dear, this year, cheers, leers, beers, New Years champagne, in the rain, gain the plane flying low bozo the clown, frown look down and around at all tall and short, snort the drugs and buy rugs, thugs drink from mugs with love from above, shove the dove on fly, oh my GOODBYE.

Improdome 6/6/07

2007-06-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

Twinkle gems, magical might, makes you want to fight, fight, fight. Your Mama talks to the wall, legless man swamps it all -- girls be'in girls and boys be'in girls -- just jump on stage and give it a whirl. Scenes pass by with nary a sigh -- come on tell the truth, don't lie, or imply, decry, oh my, sigh, hi-fi, - no high five, stay'in alive -- too much talk of male anatomy. I guess better than lobatomy. Brainless people abound. Play to the top of your intelligence, with or without sound. Hound your partners with delight, play along, don't fight, or fright, delight, good night.

Improdome 5/30/2007

2007-06-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

Anywho, my karma brought me here and seduced me into this. It was an awsome, high energy, Wednesday night. Wednesday used to be Mosh night, hosted by Dave Lombard, and Eric Gill. It started with the Mosh song --- rock'in it out. As the evening progressed, Dave gave everyone a short verbal note that really got to the point of it all. I was only going to go to the Mosh once, --- the night before Thanksgiving, I could sleep late, the next morning. After that night it was: FUCK SLEEP! It was , is, and will be, worth the sacrifice. So, heres a toast to the Mosh, Improdome, The PIT --- open'in our minds, rock and roll, and hav'in a good time.

Improdome 5/23/07

2007-05-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Waffle night at the PIT. Clap, clap, snap, snap, lap, lap, swim for mermaids, clock, block, sock, mock, fock fo acid laced with love, no use -- look at that caboose on a train with pain in the rain Elaine. -- All the same to you and me you see with glee. See See. Punch rocket plug in the socket mock it, pocket, fock it, don't mock it. Shades of her period disappear, don't lear my dear, this year cheer on January One, why it's fun , done no go slow, morph, dorph, corph, slorph, norf. Stripes accross and up and down, smile, no frown you clown. Noise emits from the booth very uncooth. Drink vermooth. Get punched in the face, have a loose tooth -- tell the truth while you still got youth. Well syanara, goodbye, avederzain, don't cry or sigh, oh my good bye.

Improdome 5/16/07

2007-05-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

Strumming guitars and harmonicas sing, as we strut across the stage with our bling a bling bling. Staged phoneys like a baloney sub rub a dub dub, in the pre-arranged liars club. You say dick, dick, dick, click, click, click, blick, blick, blick ....... say what, but simulated you know what. Such and such too much squeeze in the breeze with sleeze, if you please -- of course -- on your knees. Strutt butt you slut, no klutzy, futzy, whatsy cuts. Bleed if you please, OK go ahead and sneeze, wheeze, keep me for free? No pay, lay, OK, today, nay like a horse or pony while in the zoneie. Cut you motta on a horse, oh come on give me a divorce ... no remorse of course. Dee ta dee dee dumb, have fun son and daughter, cough, drink water, thats what you oter do -- feeling blue, like a y0o hoo, nothing new boo hoo, so scream like in a dream, dream, dream!

Improdome 5/9/07

2007-05-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

Quick, retards -- no, no, no, retorts; sexy gargoyles, no, no, no, girls; a lot of chest, no, no, no, checkers; a lot of nice mums, no, no, no, Moms. Happy earth day, no, no, no, birthday, with charm, on the fish farm, no, no, no, dudes on ludes; booze and cooze -- Harlam globe trotters don't loose. Vote today in the booth twice, no, no, no two at once -- yikes, no, no, no, mush, hush, you lush. Doldrums cause pregnancy -- no, no, no -- your Moms' torn condoms -- so you're here -- drink before last call ya'all. Have a ball -- dance, prance -- free-lance; ants in your pants? Die, die, die, at strangers funerals, lie! Bye, no, no, no, syarana sukkah.

Improdome 5/2/07

2007-05-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

Naives lusting to be free, entrapped, enscsonsed, endeavour, encdoctrine, euculuptus, easedropping -- So that's what they call it. ugh hugh -- yak, yak, yak, get back, relax, enjoy the boy, oye, and take the girl for a whirl. Dance across the stage with devine monogomy or bigamy, fligamy, bon ami, made to clean pots. Thanks a lots. Sleezing across the stage in different ways in a daze, while eating mayonnaise. Like on a cake with honey glaze. Haze of moon and dew, should make you glad, not blue. Say hello and bid adiou. Chew Chew -- like a dog with toys, girls and balless boys. Shindigs rigged to seem big, but only staged for wanna be stars who hang out in bars near an far. No more smok'in cuban cigars . Lights low, curtin down, all exit with nary a frown. Juggle shoes like a clown.

Improdome 4/25/07

2007-04-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

So when I was a child, a little girl lived around the block; her name was Roberta Baer -- So us little kids used to say there are three kinds of bears: you bare, the animal bear, and Roberta Baer. Now, I know I was all wrong and confused because there are really four kinds of bears -- the quadrangle being the Chris O'Neal bear. What? Not Chris O'Neal bare! The Chris O'Neal bear. So you ask "What is the moral of this story?" Big boobies! No I don't mean someone dressing up in a bear costume. I'm sitting on the train and there is a girl in a revealing black dress talking Russian to her boy friend. and I say "Why am I sitting here alone? And this loser is sitting there with this hot blond chick, with her gorgeous globes hang'in half way out." But I digress -- See, the point of this story is to reconnect with the brain electricity we has as little ones -- Think bear, think bare, think boobs -- Oh, shut up, your one track mind is detracting from everything. This girl is hot though -- As Mike Short would say "Ah".

Improdome, April 18, 2007.

2007-04-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

Shit! That's how it started. You think I'm going to tell a sad story? Well, maybe you're wrong and maybe it doesn't matter -- because it is about the essence of life gleaned from the fabric of our existance. Maybe some sound stupid and unreal -- that's OK because they're on the path. There is no conclusion, it is about the path. So what is the path? -- it is a kind of therapy, mind exploration, it is about finding truth. -- now you see the path can seem obtuse and unreal -- keep traveling -- from shallow shell of stage existance the road into the forest of improv brings sparkle, depth, enlightenment! It fosters a process of organic change in the mind and body-- couple this with a healthy diet and enlightened exercise program, and voila. ---- You're hot!

Improdome 4/11/07

2007-04-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Musical chairs, where's the beef? Oh good grief what a relief, you thief. Twinkle the safe, it's not a race, but don't use mace. Then again watch your shoe lace. Replace the lode in your humble abode. Not much different than a tode or Harold McLeod. Whose that you say? Good day, in a nice way, OK, hurray. Smiling girls taking it in the bum. Oh come on just hum, honey funny grungy money. Stare at me at him at them. Bet with crocuses on the hen. Dogging it realistically, ballistically, fun and games not the same, don't be a pain, in the rain or snow or on a nice day, hey don't go away, stay stay stay -- and hey come back next week, we're gonna look sleek, not meek or geek or freak. Go'in home and tak'in a leak -- Don't peek. OK guys wak'in up with the sunrise, time to say goodbyes -- goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...........................................................................

Improdome 4/4/07

2007-04-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

wood, wood, wood, like glowing embers emulsified on leaden thongs worn by eubangee warriers looking for trouble on the double in the rubble using clubble. Studio 54 a bore whore story at lore and gore. Not Al Gore, not mentioned before this year not near or beer, gear of engine reving up, yup -- got a guppie, not a yuppie puppy -- Lexicon is speech peace, beast yeast at least, it's in the near east. Vaccuum jars not bars or cars, or a Swede named Lars. In Russia Czars, Darfur stay away, keep at bay. What ya say? Get laid paid made prominade, drink lemonade.

Improdome 3/21/07

2007-03-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

Wells, Wells, Wells: an orafice drilled into the earth. Metaphor for the mans great girth or was it Mike Short, eating a tort. While those of us on stage did cavort. Girls playing boys with pink dildo toys. Big children abound, getting around. Driving to where? Putting on nair -- hairy Greeks, salad face. Be careful, she has mace. Oh my God, just tieing my shoelace. Does my outfit look out of place. Of course, because it's a joke, imaginary flake like bad cake. Well anyway lets bake and give it to him while he's playing in the gym, getting slim, limb by limb. Well folds so go home and take some tokes. Good night my friends: girls, and blokes.

Improdome 3/14/07

2007-03-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ring, ring, buzz, buzz; never knew who it was. But it was fun with me and Hon as I checked out her beaver buns. Beaver as in the animal, the kind that builds the den, not some perverted, crazy, fuck'in hen. As in peck on my neck, what the heck. Gett'in perverted yet? What the steck or stack, or mack, or back; wanna lack or find or rind or grind, or bind: whatever. I don't mind. Where's the booth, it's so uncooth and aloof, blue tooth. How rude talking on the phone in the middle of the show. We could be doing good blow, or blow job -- you drooling, kinky, snob. Go eat some corn on the cob. Hey, but that wasn't in the show -- you're go'in so fast, go slow, go slow, go slow. Good night BoBo!

Improdome 3/7/07

2007-03-08T07:28:00.000-08:00

Flat chested girls giving it a whirl. Mascarade effluvial cheese, beg for it on your knees. Girl boy, boy girl, bouncing up and down, jiggling all around. Money thrown on the floor. Finding a place with the girl, no more. Comments from Chris in the booth, persistant like a loose tooth. Mike chatting it up with the chicas, while wearing loose sneekas. Walking on the walls fallin on the flaws, psudo LSD, wheeeeeee. So does anybody get laid for real after this? Or is it just the tease of a blissful kiss? Go'in home alone and tak'in a piss. Woke up from a dream, What did I miss? Is it real or is it fake? A commentary we can make! Rock and roll, roll and rock, kid and jab and mock! Better go home and put on the door lock!

IMPRODOME 2/28/07

2007-03-01T08:21:00.000-08:00

Cascading like ... like juice of life ... booth magic and Mike --- Rah, Rah, who ha, character scene morph into mean and nice like sugar and spice --- I looked and saw she was wearing a thong, A BLACK THONG -- don't get diverted, pay attention -- have to decide who gets best mention. So I heard Diana DiPasquale is moving to suburban bowels of New Jersey --- missing all this, blow her a kiss. --- So hi ya there Chris and Mike, intellectualising, synthesising, communitising and vermentising.

IMPRODOME 4/21/06

2006-04-24T05:29:00.000-07:00

Echoes of Diana DePasquale reverberate with resonance of majesty. Where are you Diana? Are you near? Are you far? Can you feel us where you are? IMPRODOME. SANDRA BULLOCK. " You're like the coolest stranger I ever met." "We were having sex when I said that." BLUE BONNETT. "Maybe we can send you back to China." "Did you ask him what his real name is, or did you name him like a slave?" URBAN DAZE. Verlon, Ernie, and Me. ELECTRIC ROD. "These guys can feel the music in their hearts." CONFLICT OF INTEREST. "I told him if you can put up with me, you can put up with anything." RELATIVE COOL. "I've been in love with you, don't you get that?" WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "That was the grossest scene in a movie." QUEEN BOPPA. "I am not comfortable with being naked, like you are." THE MEOWS. "What a way to die." "You look pretty enough for somebody to masturbate over."

IMPRODOME 4/14/06

2006-04-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

Edge, edge, edge -- Cut, cut, cut -- Into the mind and soul of audiance. Love, sex, leathery toys, yeah boys. Murder death, all a stage play. If it were real what would they say? Dolls and date rape, silly idea; lets not talk about it when the customers are real. Drunk Chiropractors, cracking necks, not supposed to be a show, what the heck? IMPRODOME. FRESHLY BLOWN. "He really spices up your sex life." URBAN DAZE. Verlon, Malik and Me. SHOGUMAI. "Sixteen pregnant ... I got an abortion, I stabbed a knife into his heart. I stabbed him a total of 53 times." WOOF THAT TRICK. "I always thought my baby had epilipsy." CONFLICT OF INTEREST. "I too feel like I'm looking in a mirror." FIFTY POINT EIGHT. "I don't know how to think for myself." WHITES of THEIR EYES. "How come I keep pissing off everyone in my life?"

IMPRODOME 4/7/06

2006-04-10T07:25:00.001-07:00

Amazing performer and great at reading poetry. That is how this reporter sums up the presidency of Abraham Lincoln. As President he lead us into an unpopular war. The nation was destroyed and devistated. The frame work was set for growth of a strong democratic nation. A nation that would encourage a diverse panoplay of opportunity. -- We can all be what we can be. Choices abound. One that illuminates the horizon is: IMPRODOME. STAR AND STEVE. My group. MILKMAN DAN. "Your Mother didn't leave us to go to a big party, she hung herself in the garage." "My needs are unfulfilled." "I've passed the cacoon phase, I'm butterflying." CONFLICT OF INTEREST. "I think you might be overstepping the line right here." "I think I wrote four e-mails to you." "SPEED COUNTY DEMONS. "I think Mom and Dad intended for us to share." "Well of course it is cause your hearts full of love." "That's like rapeing a toy." "I feel like he doesn't like me either." BIO DIESEL. "Identity theft is really a problem, these days." "Thank you for showing me the respect I deserve." "I can stand here as long as you can." "I knew the whole time." BLOW POPS. "I wanted to be a priest." "Everytime I go to Church I feel alienated." "We usually talk about this quietly and in your room."

IMPRODOME 4/7/06

2006-04-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

IMPRODOME 3/31/06

2006-04-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

False faces protruding beneath faux sky. Implication of reality a lie. City descends, energy low. Where in the world did everyone go? At Triple Crown not many there. Walking empty streets, you got to beware. Hobgoblins wearing bras they do not need. Being felt up, such a dirty deed. Fuck, suck, buffalo muck, yuck. Story told in bold italics presumed. Read it and weep, while we all avoid sleep. IMPRODOME. WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "It's about getting something done in my life for once." "It's a constant reminder of all my failures." "People who die, their art becomes real famous." "Honey, how do you want to die?" " I don't know if I could deal with that kind of darkness after you're gone." THE PAULEYS. "I'm feeling kind of gross now." "I don't need you to judge me." "Everything I do, I do for a reason." "What she lacks in cleverness, she makes up by never saying no." THREE HEEBS. "You drive a hard bargain." "Let's negotiate some more." TOTAL FREEK OUT. "You have gone above and beyond." "He had 350 woman in his life." "She looks good." "She sacrifices so much." SPEED COUNTRY DEMONS. "You having a problem with this world I brought you up in?" "I'm talking about finding you love." "Don't get into trouble." "You want to fornicate?" "Would you kill me if I threaten her?" "You can spend the rest of your life wondering if you really loved her."

My One Man Show 4/12/06 Wednesday 6:00PM PIT

2006-04-02T17:15:00.000-07:00

I will be performing my awsome one man show on Wednesday April 12, 2006, at the Peoples Improv Theater. Featured with me will be Ray, Jonathon, and Tully. The Show is as a result of a class taught by Kimmy Gatewood.

IMPRODOME 3/24/06

2006-03-25T15:26:00.000-08:00

Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Like lightening ripping through interstellar sub atomic ions -- charging, charging, charging, so they are excited with molecular imbalance. Homeostasis -- optimal function of the human body, and mind, and soul -- all connected. Upset and reset, upset and reset, upset and reset -- get it? Keep moving in a linear direction and it's never linear: the line moves in a tangent. That is how our minds work in a micro sense within ourselves and in a macro sense -- mind set of society: upset the equilibrium and it all resets. So Grand Papa is that the secret of improv? Frodo, move quickly through the magic forest. What ever you do, do not talk to the trees. It is better to be rootless and keep moving. To find balance, you need to understand imbalance: IMPRODOME. CONFLICT OF INTEREST. "OK, I'm really sorry." " I know you had your heart set on an ivy league school." "You do the feeling, I'll do the thinking." PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE. "I need to talk to my wives." "I promise you sex every day." I wouldn't fuck any of you fat bitches, anyway." "She says everything like shes in a sitcom." "I'm in love with you." BLOW POPS. "Sit down, don't stand there." "You guys should talk." "I never had to deal with this before, I'm sorry." "I don't play with fake money." "I've never played monopoly, your way." BLAH BLAH BLAH. "I wear suits." "It's called political experience, my friend." Hi honey, we were just staring at each other." "Oh, I have a son and a husband who won't help me, when I bring home the groceries." THE FIRST KISSES. "You can ride it if you like." "That parrot has been giving me the evil eye." "Everything I say is awsome." "I like old timey cameras and murder." WIFE. Excellent scenes done in darkness, I could not see to write. MAYBE BUTTON NOW. "What the hell is this." "What are you doing." "It's hard for me when you stare at me." "Not the army story." "Shes still the same old bitch, same old task master." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Another season like that will help." "Things are going to change." "You don't like the answers?" "I curse you." "He can't see me you moron." "You that kid whose dad talks to the mirror?" "I could eat you up." "REGAL BEGALS. "I feel kind of torn." "That was so not kool." "I know what you did." "Shes all dried up." PUNISHMENT. "You got about a week to live." " He made words up on the spot to suit his rhymes. " "Now whose the jerk?" "I finally got the smell out of my car." URBAN MILKSHAKE. Ron Verlon and Me

IMPRODOME 3/17/06

2006-03-21T12:01:00.000-08:00

Worship at the porcelin g-d. St. Patricks Day green, green, green. Drunken blow job girls. Matt Donnelly mask. Whites of their eyes on film? What is the world coming to? Deaf, retarded, cheap, old men, gypsey prophesies -- I don't know when? Not much to say about Improdome this week. I feel tired and meek. Next week, I'll take another peek: At zombies, mombies, maybe Shawn with shaved head, playing Mahatma Ghandhi. We shall go, we shall see, and if it's fun we'll say Mai we. IMPRODOME. WHITE'S OF THEIR EYES on film: Yikes. O MAC FANNAGAN BAND. "You drink too much whiskey, you fuck'in jack ass." " He thinks deaf people are retarded." ROSE PETAL RAIN. Ron Verlon and Me. ANGRY CABBAGE. "How long you think the mixture will be done?" "Money is not for wasting." "Shes not from these parts, shes Greek." SHOOTING THE SHIT WITH LIZ AND TARREN. "I am fucking horny as shit." " He warned you that the cob webs in your crotch are a hazard to your health." "You got a story for every fucking thing I bring up." " Even he's got a girl friend." SHAMALON. " I can tell a lot the way a girls pulse reacts." "You can prove your manhood by wrestling." FLO. "You know I'm cursed, I can't eat bread." "I can't help it, I got to profile people."

TARREN STERRY's One Woman Show 3/14/06

2006-03-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

RED! Red Curtains, red striped shirt, red hair. Red like rising sun on an August morning, -- air heavy with life, and lust, and lady bugs. People in their waneing days in this worlds embrace, touch a young soul: Tarren -- on a mission to save the world and write a book about it. Reality strikes bringing this soul into the embrace of middle America: WalMart. Eating delightful treats, satisfying lust desire with delectable mouth watering --- You're one of them now ... You're one of them now ... You're one of them now. Riding with royal dignity in two hunderd dollar motor car. RIDE, RIDE, RIDE .... Savin' the world is about tryin' . So do good, be good, be kind, be compassionate.

IMPRODOME 3/3/06 Friday

2006-03-06T05:54:00.000-08:00

Coincidence rules! And coincidence is events colliding together and reminising. Oh, you mean call backs? End the set the way you began. Strike chord in observers minds. Figure it out later, just roll with it. Trust, trust, trust, in yourself, in scene partners, in fate, in karma, in life, in G-d. Work and try and strive to be all you can be: Then let it go and trust: IMPRODOME. WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Every time I see the empty chair, I think about her. " "I don't think anything is going to come of it." "Don't look at me when I'm weak." "Why are you so full of hatred?" "The world bores me." "I'm going to jump to the conclusion that you're a giant loser." "I'm not going to burn you this time." THE BLOW ME'S. "You feel that power?" "You alright? You been standing there for ten minutes." "I think I'm ready." "It's part of every girls growing up." KILLERS OF DEATH. My group. DIRTY CHICKLETS. "Life's a funny game." "All sorts of people in this crazy world." "He laughs cause he's nervous." "Shes a woman, you're a man." "Shes hot for you." "Go over and hold her like a woman needs to be held, but more." "He didn't leave, you drove him away." "Shes fuck'in in love with you." BRIGHTSIDE. "I want to paint you." "You told us that, many times." "He's got luscious fields." "I want to mold you, make you my protege." "How luscious can one woman get?" "TORT. "Back to work ladies, no talking." "I learned a lot, I was with one of the greatest professors of all time." "What's your name? Will you marry me?" "I am a parishioner of the world." "I can learn a lot from you." "Daddy loves anything you do." "ELEVEN. "Thomas, you tell the best lies." "The other Glen is so cool." "No losers allowed in my room." "I wish I could be as cool as him." "I want to bang you." "Can you use someone elses edge?" THREE NON BLONDES. "This is for a really good cause." "One more coincidence." "I am a virgin." "That's totally unfair." "My Father's a director, I swear to G-d." THE ILLUSION OF COOL. "I know where I'm going." "I have pie cooling in the window." "Recess is over." "If anyone needs me I'll be in the pool." BONG PROV. "You can find anything on the internet." "Getting married , you can take it seriously." "You have to find your own apartment." "Once a chick gets a ring on her finger, everything changes." MOTEL FACE. "I didn't really expect you." "You're going to grow up to be just like me."

IMPRODOME 3/1/06 Wednesday

2006-03-06T05:35:00.000-08:00

Daze, black and white, terrible sight. Like an old zenith: mesmerizing. Ozzie and Harriott look alikes, on old Harley/Indian, trikes. Scenes come, scenes go. If you don't watch you never know. People die and they rise. It's all for fun, no surprise. Laughing, crying, accordian crying. Sound effects deflect, bright like a new moon: what a sight. Some fight, but we delight that's darn right: IMPRODOME. 3D MUSDACHE. "I just go home and watch my zolotrope." "That sounds like quite a cure." "That adventure is over." "ELEVEN. "The only science show for 6th graders, by 6th graders." "We're almost published authors." "I brought my poetry, no one seems to like it. Would you like to hear it?" "I love living in an art collective." "PARTY OF ONE. "Why are you trusting me to give directions." "I had a feeling." " I have bad karma too." "I always get those confused." THE STAFF OF PERPITUDE. " I don't know if I want to take your money." "I heard what you said about the children. " "There's a party going on there, right now." "If only we can deciphor this code." " 3D BEARD. "I made some pancakes this morning, yummy, yummy, yum. " "You need to listen and be quiet." "You are a giant monkey crotch." "How does that make you ... feel." "I like to come here and relax and think about things." HELLO. My group, Kelly, Tom and Me. BONG PROV. "I quit my job." "We walked through the park for about an hour." "A job is like a woman, you got to work it out." "It took way too long to get to know how to drive a bus." "How the fuck you plan on doing it." "You got plenty of fuckin money. What you going to do with it?"

IMPRODOME 2/24/06 Friday Night

2006-02-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

Fornicating improv virgins; no fucking improv virgins, no, no, no, wrong again; rapeing improv virgins; how wrong to christen a valient, brave soul emulating the miasmic vision for the first time. Screams of ecstasy, no, no , screams of derision, no, no, no, screams of pain, ooooh yah, screams of palacial forgiveness: maybe. Hunger for food, not really, hunger for love, sometimes, hunger for acceptance yow zah. Gravy of soul pouring forth, no that's wrong -- gushing effervescence on potatoes, no, no, no, on rice, wrong, on spaghetti, you're kidding, on soul -- right. Special events collide with banter enchanting, spectating, laughing, crying, sighing, and flying. Flying forth through the night on wings lifted by dreams and fantasy and imagination: IMPRODOME. MOTEL FACE. "I don't think that's something to get really scared about." "I do dumb things." "Why would I lie about that." "You're not telling me about something here." "I've worn a lot of condoms in my life." "For a moment I was hopeful." "I thought you were saying he is the father of the baby." THREE GUYS WEARING KACKI PANTS AND A GUY WEARING JEANS."You're going to love this." "And there I was." "What a bizarre day it turned out to be." "Well the company is going under, here's the books." THE FIST KISSES. "This is boy talk." "Turn your frown upside down." "Mama's diarys ain't for read'in." "Enough with that fancy talk." "All you got to do is unlock it." ABOOBABLE. "I haven't been able to stop." "They were talking about the drugs or the sex." "Is that what you remembered?" FAT BOTTOM GIRLS. "I do not want a crying girl to touch my hair." "I don't care what it takes." TWO TOY JOISEYS. "You really need to get rid of that rotton husband of yours." "I chose him, I married him." "The bitches are coming." "If you're half as good as your sister, that's good enough for me." "All I got in my pouch is a two dollar bill and a metrocard." ELEVEN. "How delightfully mad." "I slayed a demon." "Put your penis up." "First days are hard, That's OK." RUNN'IN ON EMPTY. My team. GET DOWN SYNDROME. "I couldn't go through a festival." "I can still feel he's here." "I got a pain in my heart." "We didn't want you to be ordinary." "This is the hand I'm supposed to love with." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "I lost it back in the war." "Someones been lieing to you." "I've seen sex with women." "I learned that in the army, the hard way." "You don't expect us to work." "I'll race you to the top of Surabachi, OK." "I smelled it before." "I knew you weren't blind." "I know it's what you guys drink."

My Musical Improv Graduation Show

2006-02-27T07:39:00.000-08:00

My Musical Improv Graduation Show is Sunday March 5th at 4:00 PM: UCB theater, 307 W. 26th St. (212) 366-9176, ucbtheatre.com. Cost is $5:00.

ECHO at the Magnet Theater Friday nights

2006-02-27T07:34:00.000-08:00

Improvised scenes, improvised choreography, music, costumes, backround: innovative. Check it out: it is new, different, and interesting.

IMPRODOME 2/17/06

2006-02-20T07:27:00.000-08:00

Retro repeat, poetic replay. Just another way to say a story gloriously reposed in cacoon of jealous juxtaposition of serenity. Voo Doo sex goddesses and g-ds. Fido loss, remembered in context of something bad. Just microcosm of us all: muttering homeless man. He could be a prophet trying to wake up the early morning world. Love birds abound, chirps a salve for pain. Sing your song little birdie boos. Seeking truth through learning annex? Eat your poison brownie and die! WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "You don't want to forget her." "Yes, it's about sex." "Our affair meant nothing." "You have to face your demon." "Two weekends in a row with plans." DOUBLE DIPPERS. "I did not like the dog." "I was trying to be a good sister." "I don't understand why I'm wrong." "You can't have sex with him before the wedding." FAT BOTTOM GIRLS. "I didn't drag my chair from home, not to read it." "You should never pay for it, not a guy like you. " "I got a cunt on me and I'm drunk." "I'm so happy your friend is still alive." "What, do you want to be my friend too?" "I did something really bad." "No offense honey, you make me creepy." MOTEL FACE. "I'm trying to get your attention." "Even the frigg'in dweeb knows our life story." "Is this because I didn't have sex with you last night?" "You were nothing before you met me." "I feel like I'm odd man out here." THE FIST KISSES. "Wake up world." "This is my heart, don't let it get in your mind." "We thought this was going to be a good thing for you." "So you understand how miserable pain can be?" "I don't want to be a dick." "I think we lost focus." ELEVENISH. "I learned to think on my feet." "You seem pretty stiff today." "I find that when we talk you get overspecific." "I'm a police officer with a great intuition." URBAN BAR-B-QUE. Ron, Verlon and Me. GRAVE DIGGERS. "I don't know what I'm going to do with out you." "More of my eggs got wasted today." "Let by gones be bygones. " "It makes us as wrong as they were." "If it was a man, I'd almost feel bad." "I only loved you when you were five." "I guess I just missed my dad."

IMPRODOME Wednesday 2/15/06

2006-02-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

Cornacopia of explosions derived ostensibly with prejudice. Feeling kaleidoscopes perseverence in dark places of relief. Omnipresent chairs parading across stage, trumpeting relievable disbelief. Meat ball heroes cut with a knife, bringing to the world indignant strife. Play sensibly, or don't play at all. Misunderstanding can lead to a fall. Foreigners, vagrants, mounties, soldiers; can choice of characters be only molders? Ha Ha Ha this is silly. I'm writing words willy nilly. Flow of consciousness, isn't that what it's about? Get on stage and flout: ability, mind, words, that bind. Do it without prejudice or hate. Be part of life: celebrate. SIDE CAR. "You would love it like you love me." "This isn't about pajamas at work day." "You can't dress it up in a suit and make it any different." "You don't need to tell me who you are." "I admire your dreams." "I'll make trouble for you dude, if you don't back off." THE UPSET TRIANGLE. "You tried to get on my shit man." "He violated my personal space." "Will you accept me for who I am?" "I'm glad we finally met." "Do you like walking on the beach at night?" "Fuck you, I love you." "You say all the right things." THE GONERS. "I'm knocking off early today." "I'm going to buy a new truck." "What about the future you build for yourself?" "Got to believe in something." "You make everything about you." "We don't want to reveal our dumbness." "These are first class chicks ... we're used to like, coach." "I got a gun in case there are problems." "You look different since the accident." LEVEL ONE. " I think she likes it." "I never met an elephant so jealous." "The huckle buck, I remember that." "I admit it daddy, I love this man." "Your Father is the only man you need to have in your life." "I like you as my daughter." "Now I love you baby, now I love you." THE THREEE DDD BEARD. "I am not a woman, I am a man." "I am a meatball hero." "You've not been eating properly." "Don't add any lines to the scene." "I see I've been replaced." "Welcome to the language institute." "I don't think that's historically accurate." " It represents the next on coming plague." RUSHED SPIRITS. Ron, Sebastian and Me. JOE SCHMOES. "The knives are symbols of something between us." "Oh my G-d, he proposed." "What a relief, not to be part of that club." "You're still part of the singleness club." "What ever you're doing is wierding me out." "I think you have great breasts."

IMPRODOME 2/10/06

2006-02-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

Subterfuge vaults, hidden away. Everyone trying to have a nice day. Drunken carousing makes life not a bore. Sometimes it can be honky dorey to be with a whore. You think I am being literal, I'm really not. I'm writing this in wrote like a metaphysical robot. Diana would like an Ernie pill everyday. It's one thoughtful way to make a nice way. Bad choices, good choices, it's all in the game, without mistakes, we'd all be the same. Second chance starts now, this is the place -- it's about doing good stuff, not being in a race. So tell me again, the end of the scene is, when?Words that are said, words that are meant, it's all heaven sent. Cookies in the morning, bowling balls at night, let's go outside and fly a kite. You fucking alcoholics. JIZZ SQUIBBS. "Obviously, I made a bad choice for my first hold up." "We're married to our work." "I want my job back." CONFLICT OF INTEREST. "Music is the food of life." "Remember when Mom left and you said you would do anything to make me happy." "A Scandanavian is someone who expresses themselves through passive aggression." "I was here first, so shut up." "You're at the top of your game." "I think it's time for another bottle of whiskey." ELEVENISH. "I appreciate you guys painting my house." "People know my name, it's kind of nice." "I like working with her, she makes me look smart." "Tell her you like her." "Give her eye contact." "Keep your cool Bro." "Try and explain that to the cops." "We're living the dream." FAT BOTTOM GIRLS. "So where's my hot girlfriend, and my totally hotfriend." "Look at what you made me do." "Second chance starts now." "I was trying to make you win by spurring you on." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Is this going to work now?" "It's not bullet proof." "Polar bear is not the strongest land animal." "He knows what he's doing, he does it for a living." "We need to move to the basement, they're migrating." URBAN BAR B-QUE. My group. STUBBLE. "Gratitude is the best attitude." "I always told my mother I should have married a richer man." "What's that lofty aroma I smell?" "It was only that one time." "There are words that are said, and words that are meant." THE UPSET TRIANGLE. "The proms coming up." "Got a date?" "I got you a lady, shes a mathlete." "The Twig has legs and a mouth to match." "I haven't heard about small bowling, in thirty years." "Your lonliness just destroys everything." WHATEVER. "Sometimes your standards are ridiculously high." "I think you should get on a dating service." "It eminates off me, like the wreak of a undeodorized whore." "You smell of hotness and desperation, and street. " "The drunker you two get, the better your date is going to be."

IMPRODOME Wednesday 2/8/06

2006-02-09T08:44:00.000-08:00

Substance, character, point of view -- does this all sound like something new? Yang Miller smiles and hosts. Do you think he's giving us the most? Preambulatory devils achieved in light. All the scenes were good none of them did bite. Darkness ascends, city is dead. At the PIT there is activity, no ones butt is made of lead. Train of enlightenment choo choo's ahead. Most on New York is sleeping in bed. Do you think this is silly? I don't know -- but you're reading it so lets go. Onward and upward, full speed ahead. I think that's what I heard, everyone said. THE MAYORS. "Let me just finish this dream." "We dated the same guy." "Were you guys drinking? I was sucking di..." "Dad I'm pregnant, do I have to drop out of High School?" "You're the one from the Weichart commercial." "The ink is drying, you want to get it when it's wet." HIGH QUALITY PATIENCE. "I can't believe you're getting married tomorrow; to a girl." "Fifth grade changes people." "You've got to be able to focus on what's in front of you in order to move forward." "I feel a little disappointed, I got to admit." ELEVEN. "You seem really popular already." "I guess you don't understand boundaries." "What are you digging for with your sweaty man body?" "It's been awhile since I've been raped." LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR. "Jack, I'm sorry these people flaked out." "The three of us can have a little fun." "He doesn't seem like the guy we grew up with." "No party is a party without two beers." "We can save the child." "They're all dead in there now." MONO SYLOBIC WOMBATS. " I want to address your problem." "Everything he says is a G-d damn lie." "He's going to ruin my career." OLD MASTER PAINTERS. My group. THREE-D BEARD. "On screen Leota fucks like a bandit. " " I felt a chill up my spine, it's been three years." "Pick another one fuck ball." "I'm from child services, and you've been a terrible father." CONFLICT OF INTEREST. "You've got to make a speech in five minutes." "I had a quick last half mile there." "You're going to pay for this in bed." "My style, that makes the studio run." POSITIVELY TALL OF US. "I didn't know he was the owner." "So dudes, which one of us is going to go on the date tonight?" "Anybody know her name?" "All I really heard is you screaming in pain." "I got a question for the devil." BUBBLEICOUS. "Maybe tonight after dininer, we can see my parents." "You popped a boner in math class, it's OK." "I kind of have a problem with you two." " I don't like disco, I never have." "I have trouble telling people how I really feel." SIDE CAR. "Shit dude, I got a girl waiting." "Come to my chambre." "It's kind of a sexy way to read a book." "Your asshole attitude in my chamber of secrets."

ELNA BAKER revisited (2/7/06 Tuesday night)

2006-02-08T07:30:00.000-08:00

I went to the Peoples Improv Theater, last night. I enjoyed PIT Bosses. These are one person shows which are done as a result of Jen Nails' class. The performers were awsome; they told great stories about themselves. After the show I was walking down the stairs on my way out; Elna walked up the stairs, and said: "See my show". I told her I had already seen it (see my blog November 27, 2005). She told me: "It is different now". So I stayed, and here is my commentary: Pretty ... pretty ... pretty ... witty ... witty ... witty... gritty ... gritty ... gritty. If only she could sing -- that is what I thought. If only she could sing -- like a sparrow in spring. Like Chinese food at Mings. Like the little bell that goes ding a ling a ling -- but maybe she can -- she just doesn't talk about it -- but we know she can kiss -- as far as she goes with sweet romantic idealism permeated with innuendo of New York street reality -- sweet street reality: Elna style. Some quotes from her show: "So that's your personal trainer." Footloose. "I worked out for an hour in the air gym." "I love living in New York, because it's a grid of possibilities." "My apartment is furnished with things I found on the street." "I moved to New York when I was 18." "I'm a Mormon." A warning from her Mother: "What would you do if a lesbian tried to make out with you?" "This man squats, pulls down his pants and poops." "We were pressed against the glass." Elna crashed a 7-11 convention: "I proposed a toast." "I come from a really loving family." "One summer we went to 25 countries." "I love how my parents love each other." "I make a fool of myself, a lot with boys." "He broke up with me two hours later." "Kissing is really wonderful." "I have faith for a reason, and I don't have sex for a reason." "Now, Rusty and I are pen pals." "Why don't you come out to my Ranch, tomorrow." "That's what happens when you start talking to strangers." "You can meet a person that has everthing you wanted." "They got married." "I drooled all down Bobs' shoulder."

I MC'd Saturday Night

2006-02-06T06:25:00.000-08:00

My old running club asked me to MC their awards banquet. To see photos, go to: rvrr.org, click on photos, and then: Banquet 2006.

MY MUSICAL IMPROV FANTASY

2006-02-02T06:49:00.000-08:00

Musical Improv is a different game: Improv with songs, heightened emotion, dancing. Musical Improv is not just focused on comedy. We see the full panoplay of emotion; sometimes we cry. I am currently taking a Musical Improv Class at UCB. This class is taught by my musical improv fantasy: Eliza Skinner. When she performs, sometimes she is good and sometimes she is unbelievalby awsome. Her group " I Eat Pandas " is currently performing at the theater Under St. Marks, on Monday nights at 8 PM. I made an offer to Yang and Mark, and it is open to anyone I know: If you would like to see "I Eat Pandas" with me, I will buy dinner. Ticket for the show is eight dollars. This Monday, 2/6, I have other plans. I plan to be there on the few Mondays after that -- let me know if you are interested: stephenkornstein@aol.com.

IMPRODOME 2/1/06

2006-02-02T06:38:00.000-08:00

2/2/06, 1:45 AM, early Thursday morning, on the train. The train is sitting here -- they are single tracking tonight. There are only two tracks from Newark through the tunnel into NYC; one track for each direction. Sometimes they do track work or there is a problem with one of the two tracks, so they single track: Use one track for both directions. This is a metaphor for Improdome, tonight. Sthick is an important entertainment medium. Improdome tonight included a lot of sthick: characters, accents, etc. These things are devices that can be used to tell a story. These things can be fun to watch, and can thus become the story. If we make this the whole package, then we short change ourselves, and the audiance. After all, the story is what theater is all about. If we get caught up with sthick, we forget the story. So, back to writing 101, or Improv I (same thing, really) : Developing characters and their back story is fundamental; this is the foundation; we build from there. If there is no base to build from, then there is nothing: we are just single tracking.

IMPRODOME 1/27/06

2006-01-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

Energy Pizazz rippleing through obscene vortex. Defining pre-ambulatory pictures set fluidly before our steaming eyes. Philosophy confined to library shelves, collecting visions of mold: useless. Thoughts, feelings, images, ideas, obscenities, goodness, parading on stage before us: priceless: Jersey dildos, sixteen world, itching STD's, stolen statues, adopted vacuums, jilted warranties, interesting faces, compliments, miscarrages, poetry in bowels of the earth. YIKES. Steam open the envelop of life -- Reveal the unrevealed: therapy philosophically protrayed: IMPRODOME. A quote from Diana: " I'm taking a class at the practical school of philosophy." TEAM GETT'IN LAID. "You guys really feel like my family." " Can't have enough balls." FREE PARKING. Justin, Dave, and Me. HOT SAUCE. "Good morning, I'm sixteen world." "Are you making mommy something?" "I didn't know the symtems of STD's involved itching." "You're fireing me?" " We have reservations with a quadrapalegic being on the football team." "I'm telling that you fucked me if you kick me off the team." THE FIRST KISSES. "You made me look like a fool." " Do not look me in the eyes if you want to keep your eyes." "This used to be his , but it's mine, because I stole it." "I made you see things, I made you feel things." "I don't need to fuck this up for you you'll fuck it up on your own." JIZZ SQUIBBS. "I can't believe we made it." "You are so an ass hole." "I'm really so glad we adopted him." "I dreamed about this day." "I never cared for Joey, even though I slept with him." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "I'm still not buying your vacuum cleaners." " I'm just a silly little house husband." "He's so handy with tools." "My secret ingrediant is taragon." "Any vacuum that can clean that up, we're going to buy." "Well I hope you take a check." "Someone turfed the lawn." "I never mailed it in." LOVER . "Your face is so interesting." "Dad, can we keep him?" "He's got street grit." "I'm going to fuck you Guadalope." "Stay here forever and have a good time on us the half Millers." ELEVENISH. "Do you perchance hop in this bar often." "May I flatter you with a compliment?" "That means no chance of a baby." "I'm eating those chocolates to quell my pain." "See, he doesn't listen to thoughts I feel." "You overstepped your boundries, just there." LADY SUPREME COURT JUSTICE. "It's not your fault." "The thing I don't want to be reminded of is the miscarrage." "You make me so sad about stuff, sometimes." "I'd get a job where you do different things every day." " How can you rehearse for a figure skating match and read Stanaslofsky?" "Honey, you're sad because you're unemployed, and lost our baby." "So, when I see my reflection, it isn't distorted?" "What would you say if I got a job with a routine?" "I'm very sensitive." "Where are you going to go." "All I want is something small and cute, that I have to teach." HEROES OF COMEDY. " I just read poetry." " American whiskey is terrible." "Now you just settle down and drink those drinks." "Well Frenchie, it's you and me now." "He's coming back and he expects us to be wet." "I hear you're the guy who haunts this mine." "Shes a whore, she smells like a month of bad Sundays."

IMPRODOME 1/20/06

2006-01-24T11:28:00.000-08:00

Plasticine celluoid delusion cascading amorphously envisioning delightful fantasy. Illusion: no plasticine, no celluoid -- real actors, real imagination, real words, real movement, real Diana DiPasquale -- all real, all imagination! Dirty words punctuate dirty deeds of fantasy. We in our comfortable world -- American world, with running water, central heat, electricity. Our wealth betrays the premise of poverty of the soul. For we are just actors on a stage, perfecting our craft: Minds, imagination, vinyasa of our soul: IMPRODOME: WHITES OF THEIR EYES. " Stop trying to kill yourself." "You're busting your ass for no reason." "Finally I have a reason to try to be proud of you." "I need you to choose your art." ELEVENISH. "You've got to get out of that relationship." "That doesn't look really helpful." "Do you want me to do it soft or hard and fast?" "I have nothing against going gay." " Can I sit on your lap while you do it?" THE FUCK UP ALL STARS. "I haven't seen you around here before." "You look sexy." "I'll take you to burger king baby." "Dude I totally forgot we're on drugs." "It's over when somebody talks about it." "They give you the sub titles in sub text now." "You love it when you stroke it like that." MARK LYMAN BAKER. "It's wierd that I dated both of you, and you're roomates now." "The hamster has one of the rooms." "I tutored you and I got a C." "I can't go with you because you're smarter than me." "You just got to think about things." "It's just my day job." ROW. "There's not a conflict between science and religion." "You showed up at my door and I was sleeping." "How is amimal metal?" "I can smell alcohol from here." "You're better than your father, OK, fine." "I'm in college now, can you stop waiting up for me?" "I just want to get along with you, dad." "She's going through the change." "It's chilling out on your baby lips." MILFACTERIA. "Social promotion has ruined the educatioonal system in this country." "We're the real kings of this school." " I could use something in my mouth that was once on you." "For Christ sake, shes a fifteen year old girl." "I decided to take her little panties off." "We've both undergone special operations." FIRST KISSES. "Why would G-d let bad things happen?" "Peter, you're such a clever little orphan." "Peter and I will help cleanse you, Kathy." "You better say something that sounds like a righteous truth." "It'll be alright, once we cleanse you." "How can I stay mad at you? You're just so cute." WELL HUNG JURY. "You must be here for the job interview." "Since the rabbit man is here, I'll be glad to participate." "I guess I have to take something off." SMELL TUBE. "You wanted that wheel chair magazine." "I have a dream." "These knitting bars, they're really kind of cool." "I just wanted to have a nice meal and maybe knit." EPHIPHANY. Adam, Joe, and Me. YOGERT. "Not much left, hopefully it's enough." "I'm trying to make gold here, so we can get married." "It would be nice to have something which is worth something." "I don't like where we're going with our relationship." "It was like a premise stone, or something." "Bitch walks in the wrong time, every time." THEM. "I'm not touching that." "I feel like we're the same person almost." "You both have two DNA's."

IMPRODOME 1/13/06

2006-01-15T12:36:00.000-08:00

Volconic, molecular, thunderous eruptions of manic sleeze, ejaculating Copernican vision. Say what? T-bone at five and counting ... and counting ... and counting ... nub it. Seeking happiness in empty visions. Sex breathing stereotypical steroid syllogisms of Amish prototypes: They fuck too, like everyone else ... for the prize ... for the prize ... for the prize. Victims can be victims or willing supplicants, victimizing the victimizer. Adults consent, those not of age cannot. Victimizers put on airs to mask their grand hypocrisy. Looks and smiles and frowns and brushing, touching, winking, ominous thinking --- can stab and hurt, beat down and kill. -----------------------------A quote from Diana: " When life gives you dilemma, make di lemonade." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "We sanitized every instrument." "We already spent the cash." "You are in love, hugh." "I don't like the way you treat me, when we come to restaurants." "Well, there's probably going to be some hate in it by the end of this meal." MANA. "I made you retarded." "You left him alone in the bathroom?" "What did you do? He never comes back from here happy. What did you do?" KNIFE BIRD - BIRD KNIFE. " I had a break down, yesterday." "Is there a Readers Digest version of this story?" "I'm not one of your patients, you don't have to be condesending." "Is it hard being an ugly fugley?" "This sucks ... it's boring." ELEVEN. "Someone that you know has gone a little far with her boyfriend. Jesus H. Christ." "There's no reason why we can't all be friends." "Who was that? Was it G-d?" "What could be more ironic, than me joining a sport team?" "It better be fucking good, or you're going to get a slap in your mouth." GUTLESS FLABS. "If I can't hear whats coming out, I can't mix." "Are you ready to get your mind and your ears blown out?" "Plus, I'm fucking him." "You don't get a chair for your exit interview -- stand up." "I boned you because I wanted this position." WE COULD BE HEROES. Greg, Chris and Me. SLEEPY GIANTS. "The boss likes me more ... cause I do him." "I guess I learned a lot about business." "We lost so much that day, and it's all your fault." "It's quite disturbing, actually." "Oh well, it's confetti art." GAY BLACK TEENS LEAGUE. "Why am I wearing my white robe?" "There was a four year old girl in that buick skylark." "I want to put my hand so far down your fucking throat." "It was a beautiful dream." BARELY LEGAL. "He's three years old in mind, body and spirit." "Do what you do." "She wrote the entire thing for me." "You need a little bit of work with your articulation skills." "It seems so pedestrian to go through the motions." "It makes you sound like a deushbag." "It's not a coincidence, dude." "Ha, ha, ha, retard dick." GIBBLER. "It's more or less a non-verbal invitation to speak to me." "This is a brutal hazing." "You guys are obviously in charge of this bus stop."

IMPRODOME 1/6/06

2006-01-09T06:47:00.000-08:00

Lesbian fuckers pretending to be straight, using men like a play date. Teasing and taunting, acting real nice. Without them, life would be boring without much spice. Nazi spoofs, goofs, pretending to be aloof; torturing animals and children and wives and mothers and husbands and fathers. Transmorgrafying liars into witch sauce immersed in cauldrons of broken glass. Next scene, pat her ass. -- It's acting, it's OK. Blood flowing from between chaste legs -- wasted eggs. Sad? Maybe! New life means change. Metamorphosis hurts. Love hurts. Love is a mental lubricant leading where? Depends ... depends on who, what, when, where. Love can uplift! Love can burn! Love can make you yearn! Love can make you laugh! Love can make you cry! Love can make you float on a cloud! Love can make you take a life ... maybe your own! HIPPSTERS FROM CONVENIENCE. "Mom you don't have to walk me to the class." "There's nothing wierd about the human body." "Are you Jewish because you listen to Jewish artists?" "I like burning American flags, kicking homeless guys." "She doesn't know we're here at all." "We're the people who do stuff." MANA . "Look, just let me in." "I was thinking about you." "I think it's about time to talk about our relationship." "I've been waiting for someone just like you." "You're not poisioning the mind of my baby." PINK NICIE NICE. (WHITES OF THEIR EYES). "I'm going to play the way I play the way snake plays." "Tell us what it's like to love something". "Why does every living thing in this house have to die?" "Let's get out of here, there must be a better way for youngsters to grow up." "Wish for something beautiful." NIALIST . "It looks cool, but it doesn't really do anything." "It's hard to find really smart celebrity scientists who are also actors in Hollywood." "Are you a magazine writer, or some kind of guru?" "I like the look of the poster." "Guys, I really need your addresses and five dollars." STUPID. Paul, Yang and me. SOUTHERN EXPOSURE. "These portions are enormous." "Excuse me I'm very tired." "We're at a funeral, do you mind?" "Whores, you just come in their faces." "I'm sorry I'm poor." EXIT SIGN. "I gathered up all the nuts." "Don't you fuck'in touch me." "I'll see you next week Jerry, I'm not going to give up on you." "It's not supposed to be funny, I'm just telling you my last name." "Let's play therapist." " It's your first period, it happens." " I hope someday, I share your apathy toward my kids." BURNS LITTLE BABIES. "Are you ready for my dinner party?" "Don't look him in the eye, because he won't eat." "They don't like babies." "Where's that shit of a husband you have?" "As long as you don't have no babies, you can do what you want." "For five dollars, I'll seal the deal in blood." "She must be lesbian."

MAGNETOSPHERE 12/22/05 PAX ROMANO

2005-12-23T11:25:00.000-08:00

The Magnet theater is one of many developmental theaters in NYC. Magnetosphere is one tool used for developing abilities of performers. Students are grouped into teams; the teams perform montage scenes, a scene in one location, a Harold (a form developed in Chicago), and freeze tag. My commentary on the evening: Is not knowing, a road to bliss? Or, is knowing, realizing and attaining, the bliss? The spark of mental resonance we aspire toward is like a light twinkling in the distance, beckoning seductively. Creative presentation is the mirror of our being. Working, eating, procreating, promagnam existance -- If this is all there is, can the being in this caccoon of life be as happy as can be, or is the caccoon a prision? Does liberating the mind liberate the soul? Does realization of knowledge and truth make us more complete? I and we could have chosen to sit and be entertained. I and we could be dulling our mind with beer, alcohol, and drugs. If you are reading this, you have chosen a different path: One of mind realization and exploration, using the tool we know as Improv. Some quotes from the performance: "I can't be in a car where I can't respect the person I'm with." "You don't even want me to be happy." "You're going to walk out of this room looking fierce." "You're like a work of art to me." "I'm the one paying for it." "What has college done to you, always problemitizing." "See these dailies, they're disgusting, I'm going to have to fire you." "I am breezing through this situation." "You can always make me laugh." "I have tongs in my hands." "The cap's still on it bozo." "You didn't call, so I got married." "Here are your peppers, so you can loose weight." "I'm the fuck out of here." I would like to add one more thing: Lucia Aniello plays with a wonderful emotional edge.

PEOPLES IMPROV THEATER 12/19/05

2005-12-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

The evening began with Mr. Resistor and Gertrude. Consciousness flowed nicely with fun scenes performed by both teams; both were enjoyable to watch. Selfish me, I wanted more; second beats, tieing scenes together at the end, would have been real iceing on the cake. MR. RESISTOR. "I was playing football with Rocco and the boys." "It's not about how good it is, it's how you look." "Sylvestor Stallone is like three feet tall." "Ninja smoke bombs, they stopped making them." "Your credit check failed." "People loose their minds when a strike is going to happen." "This is the greatest single serving conversation, I've had." "I saw you sleeping." "Congratulations on your promotion." "Gloating starts with a G, and so does good." "I can buy my way out of the law." "Why don't you guys come in and have a drink with me." "I love that thin air being out of breath, just slightly." "I used to be in love with a woman, now I am nothing." "Now, just do exactly what I do." GERTRUDE. " How do you remain so calm?" "We are so going to die." "You just said you loved me." "Heres to new business opportunities." "Every child deserves a little bit of sugar." "My cats are my friends." "Animals don't hurt people." "My dad says you have cob webs between your legs." "You've got some arms on you." "Something is poking into me from behind." "I thought that was the storm coming, it sounds like the end of the world." "Please stay in your basement, tape the windows." "No matter what those kids do to you in school, I'll always love you." "There's this gay component." "I'm not comfortable being here." "I am attracted to homeless people." "Thank G-d it came out like this."

IMPRODOME 12/16/05 PIT CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR

2005-12-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

Irascible light speed cup cake revolution. Buying time with wit. Buying time with wit. Buying time with wit. Wit. Wit. Wit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Move. Move. Move. Cut. Cut. Cut. Speak. Speak. Speak. Story. Shout. Shout. Whispering prominades of love beads, like sweat of a thousand promiscuous slave dogs. Bitches in heat, imagination responders set super high. Flying delicate rosebuds, beyond grasp, beyond grasp, beyond grasp. Tears streaming through gasps of loss, of loss, of loss. Help us find our way, our way, our way: IMPRODOME. "It all comes down to love and Santa Claus." "They've all been blessed or demonized." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Your travels are now over, young man." "I woke up in the middle of the night with a spiritual awakening." "Now you're in a land with beautiful lesbian ladies." "I just creamed my shorts, Captain." SPECTOR OF CALAPHATE. "Is everything just miserable?" "You have to change your perspective, fast." "If it's going to start out miserable, why should it start at all?" "We have to find the good in this." "Your brother thinks you're in the bathtub, dead." "There's a crap in the toilet, but it's not mine." BLOW POPS. Radomir, Yang and me: no quotes. PUCKY CHARMS. "Get this posted before midnight." "I know you're just a temp, but you have my heart." "Let's act like animals." "What did you think this job was all about." "You're on the team." THE NIHILIST. "If you have really cheap wine, I'll take that." "You know if you need money, you can always borrow it from me." "I bought a trip to space." "I love to iron." " All my other roomates thought I was gay." "There are going to be drunk latino people on your doorstep when I go by." "You are a racist." "You make the best toilet wine." "All my tomagathie have been rearranged." FIN. "I lost my job at the board game factory, today." "They said I was speaking tongues." "You roll dice and move your tractor." "You never made me a little brother." "You ain't mad at me for killing Pa?" "There's always room for forgiveness." " I never thought a desk job would fuck my back up so much." "I got a great finger game idea." "Mine's hairless." "Mine's King Wolf, so I get to go two more."

The CHRIS O'NEILL Spectacular

2005-12-19T07:58:00.000-08:00

Some quotes from Chris O'Neill MAGNETOSPHERE 12/15/05: "I completely fucked up." "She was good, you're a lucky guy." "I don't know whether I should admire the sunset or admire you." "If you want to hit me, hit me, I deserve it." "Maybe you married the wrong woman." "There is no one in town she hasn't done."

MOLASSI 12/15/05

2005-12-19T07:48:00.000-08:00

Root of long form improv. Finding the game. Where it all starts. Foundation. Defining relationships. Establishing backstory. MOLASSI. some quotes: " I know you're mad." "You've got to learn to trust me. Without trust where are we?" " I guess I was wrong." "It doesn't mean I have to like you." "I want things to be OK between us again." "You've never done anything right this it your chance." "I'm getting married soon so I've been planning my wedding." "I'm two months pregnant." " He was a drive in accident." "I can hardly stand the whining." " You can grab the problem by the throat until it does what you want." "I wear the gloves to keep your whiney energy out of my body." "You have to take a leap of faith." "The basement flooded because you put too much paper in the toilet." "The only person you have for the rest of your life is your brother or sister."

AMPERS&ND 12/11/05

2005-12-12T08:42:00.000-08:00

From the depths of conscious being ... formalgahyde of our souls -- is that it? -- I really don't know. Cadance, beat, mind, molecule connections ... chains of reality link together fascinated by myriad possibilities. Permutations and salutations, fascinations and deviations --- moving fast and procrastinations... Beat, beat, beat, keep the beat --- miss it and beat off --- scene dead. Dead like a missive floating featherbed soft in a dreamscape of illusion: Illusion designed as mirror to truth. Truth, truth, truth --- essential in life, in relationships, in improv. Deviate from universal ethos of thuth and loose: Loose in life, loose in relationships, loose in improv. Fascination, focus, interest, humor, all come from observable truth. Illusion of reality touches inner essence of ourselves. And, illusion of reality was a paramount essential in their Sunday night performance --- Diana D, and John F: ignited our imaginations with multi fascited, multi accented, multi, multi, multi, characters: Fun to watch and meld with as the aura of their performance enveloped our audiance. Ampers&nd sated my entertainment desire.

IMPRODOME 12/9/05

2005-12-10T12:28:00.000-08:00

Fuckwads redo or redue or redon't, redundant fuckwads. Fuckwads don't get married. Fuckwads get married. Fuckwads don't give or... da da da ... get road head. Fuckwads don't die, they're just fuckwads. Are fuckwads failures if they're good at being fuckwads? Fuckwads have fuckwad cadance. Fuckwads drink; fuckwads are sober. Fuckwads are minorities and fuckwads are majorities. Fuckwads are fathers and fuckwads are stepfathers. Fuckwads dress the part, and fuckwads fart. Fuckwads eat a lot and fuckwads don't eat at all. Fuckwads work; fuckwads sit home and watch TV. Fuckwads pillage accident sites. Fuckwads shop at the grocery store. Fuckwads explode heads and fuckwads heads explode. Some fuckwads have a dick and some fuckwads have a pussy ... and sometimes, theyget together and make more fuckwads. Fuckwads slap tits. Fuckwads go to therapy. Fuckwads are yoga masters. Fuckwads are toxic. Fuckwads go to encounter groups. Fuckwads comb their hair. Fuckwads have no hair. Fuckwads throw up. Fuckwads get pregnant. You're a fuckwad, I'm a fuckwad, we're all fuckwads. . . . Yeah! IMPRODOME. Diana: "I got Married." "I told my sister, she told me you're an idiot and she hung up on me." "I'm hoping for a pearl." BOOK RETORT. Melissa, Sarah and Me. no quotes. ROLLING STONES APOCALYPSE. "So they drove over the bridge." "What about road head?" "I have a stick shift though." " I guess you like my advanced guide to the idiots guide to fucking." "He did not expect to die." " The angel of death will take me shortly." "You've got thirty seconds left to give me a life time of love." "I don't want to cry over you, you son of a bitch." "Throw this knife at me a couple more times." " A man isn't naturally born to kill things with a knives." "I figured it would be more relaxed in a motel room somewhere." "I lost my hard on for this, I'm sorry." "For Christ sake stop, we hit somebody." "I left my George Thurgood tapes at home."WOMEN OF NEGOTIABLE AFFECTION. "This is my cadence." " Suzie Wilkens gave me a little bit of a hand job." "I too wanted a hand job." "Does not a man want love?" "You're just speaking in plattitudes." " When you fall asleep, I'm going to cut your balls off." "You have to get a new wardrobe and get cool." "I have a rape trial in two weeks." "You're doing way too much booze, way too much pot." "I found this bar that let me turn in my AA card for a free drink." "He stopped drinking and turned old and dirty and disgusting." "And then we should fuck." "Old English 800, the malt liquor that's killing the black man." PAX. "You've been a little bit cold almost." "When you drink a little too much you get crude." "I heard you throw'in the f bomb around a lot." "What's done is done." "If I embaress you at all, I'm sorry." "I was really fuck'in crazy at the party last night, she knows." "You got to let him do it on his own terms." "When we're at work, I'm not your mother." "If you're going to stay here, you're going to have to dress the part." "If you don't like it, you can spit it out." "You came here to convert everyone." THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "If we fuck the sequence up again, we get fired." "Whose going to make a movie about us, in thirty years?" "There was a truck crash on I-95, I got this free box of licorice." "Now lunches never have to be boring, anymore." "Destiny is in your hands." " That light never goes on." "We started hearing a bunch of music, and his head exploded." "We were supposed to save the day, but we wrecked the day." "I said some things I'm not proud of." "We are partly native american, I swear to g-d." "Two months later, they find an alien space ship." "Love is all you need." "My Aunt is Cindy Williams." "You know someone famous." KENNEDY'S HEAD SHOT. "I don't even remember being at that party." "You were really drunk." "It was a great party." "You asked me if I would show me your dick." "You remember that party we met at." "I remember seeing his penis." "It's a stereotype based on truth." "You know if you put that on your body, you will die." "The one time I ask you to come, and you do." HOT PINK FISHY FACE. "How am I going to be with you if I know you played around?" "Our second date was supposed to be different." "No one has ever slapped your tits before on the second date?" "I think you can do anything one time, and it doesn't count." "So you came back for more therapy form Dr. Drago." " We don't judge them." "You don't look like a yoga master." "Surrounded by schools of tuna." "I love toxins in my body." "If you're going to slap me, slap me like you love me." PRETTY PRETTY PONIES. " I decided this morning, that I wanted to watch this ." "If only we had not eaten out after the recital." "That was ridiculous, put a pea through a cathator." "I think life makes me sad." "I'm really glad you came to our encounter group." "We both love his cock." "I've never gotton angry watching a recital, before." "I cashed your social security check." "I promise you on your mothers' legs." "I like watching the wind blow." ABACUS."I took the tylenol, like you said I should take." "You know she has a crude husband, and a child that doesn't like you." "Let's draw straws or combs out of the container." "I've watched through the mirror, I can see it backwards." "That baby is probably throwing up in its' womb." "I gave birth to your daddy." "Shut up I'm pregnant." "It turns out this man is Jupiter, marrided to Minerva." "I was a woman before you were in seventh grade." "Look at my rippling muscles." "People look at G-d differently." "Call the ghost busters, bitch."

IMPRODOME 12/2/05

2005-12-05T08:03:00.000-08:00

Essential truth, that is it ... all there is to it. Essential truth -- not silliness, not jokes, not nonsense, not talking to talk ... essential truth. Cosmetic vinyettes of life ... bing, bong ... essential truth. Prismatic meaning, split reality into ... essential truth. Perspective, opinion, point of view ... essential truth. Essential truth ... climax, point, meaning, ending, morphing into new story, new beginning, new birth, essential truth: IMPRODOME. PAX "I'm kind of a little bit on the shy side." "We're both lonely." "You know somebody to walk you home." "Second year senior ... pre-med." "I'm sorry, I was judging you." " He seemed nice." "Seriously, I have to be up in the morning." "That was unexpected and rather pleasant." "You've got a lot to say." "Are you crying?" KENNEDY'S HEAD SHOT. "You're looking really stressed." "How do I learn how to relax?" "Deep breathing." "Daphne wants to leave me." "Are you breaking up with me as a patient?" "Everything you do affects me." "I want to die as much as you do." "That's why I think death is the whole point of life." "Pregnancy happens." "I was thinking on the way down , how liberating death is." TRY FUCK TA. "One time I got my period and bled through my pussy." "This guy wasn't cool, he was using me. " "Is this because of your cock problem?" "I Suppose now I should dring the book." "I'm in over my head." PIT VIPOR. "I get to the bottom of the problem, I solve it and I know karate." "I'm a super hero mostly on mondays." I just love sitt'in on the stoop and watch'in this." "You live in terrible poverty." "Sensitivity isn't one of my strong points." "I don't want you to take me anywhere." "Mega reality television man." "There's trouble with the real world." WHITE'S OF THEIR EYES. "I remember the tranquil days of youth." "I smell a pie mama." "I smell pie all the way from the widows peak." "Color me pleased." "Hold on, I do this better with no hands." "We'll never have enough money to save the orphanage." "How could so much sadness fit into such little bodies?" "There yonder Mt. Washington, there we climb." "We're going to stand and watch, until they make love." SOMETHING FRIENDY. "I really want to share." "Look at you with your wee wee." "It's not a sexual time." "It's a mighty bloody knife you got there." "You guys deal with situations." "Why do you always have to hit me with the french bread sticks?" "We both know I'm pissed, and we both know why." "She's just feeling my melons." My group -- Radamir, Tony and me. No quotes. ONE HIT WONDER. "I love you man.""This is my reward, even though I came in fourth." "Doctors get drunk and fuck up." "When you're a doctor, you're going to get the best look'in women." "He's going to die a virgin." "I'm out of lubricant." HIMROD. "You're fired." "Heres to my losing a job." "You slayed a dragon to make that flannel shirt." "How is she not my mom?" "I got it at the ninty nine cent store for two dollars." "What are you some kind of wimp?" FAMOUS ORIGINAL NOT THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "It's your uncle Bob, I know you haven't seen me in years." "If I told you where I've been, you wouldn't go with me now." "But Uncle, Wendy's, a bible, what does it all mean?" "The birthstone of gemini." "The oracle said he'd be hot." "Would you like to super size your destiny?" "Have you solved cancer yet?" "Come give Dr. Theopolis a hug." "All I know how to do is kill and cure." "No, I think a robo prostitute will give me head.""I'm a love bot, I don't understand these things." "The man I love loves physics."

IMPRODOME 11/25/05

2005-11-28T07:26:00.000-08:00

Bubbling gismos, entrapped ferocious bobos let free, to be unbound like body, like mind, like soul of improvisor. Still cuteness cuddling anamously ghost like in its' intensity. Roaring voices crease through serenity: wake up world -- wake up world. Look at me, look at them, look at us. Pretend goddesses morphing into surreal reality. Boogers of the mind thrill unknown victims training for the next round of jibberish. Dininfected spontaniouty shepheardin new world reality. Organic insight foretells the boswain knocking doorless hopeing. New life, new universe, new being: IMPRODOME. PIT VIPORS. "I know who I look like." " I tell you what twenty years of hard labor will do to a man." "We're looking to party." "I love you, lets go to the tent.""Brits, woman,jobs,Ican't take it." SLAP SHOP SHINING DOLLS. "I'm just starving.""I lost my job." "The train is going to come any minute." "She reminds me of somebody." "You owe me that money." "I made out with him after that." "You're kind of antagonistic -- that's perception sharing." "You're stressing out my client here." "I felt like the dicipline has brought me back to where I want to be."It killed a lot of my brain cells. I used to huff paint thinner." "We could go in the back room and pray together." "Shes a sex addict too." WHITES OF THEIR EYEX. "That's going to be the perfect pre fire bombing my office meal." "Baby, that assembly line you were working on was no good for you." "It's OK Bob if the popular kids asked you to sit with them. it's OK." "I'm taking decisions and taking actions." "Normally when I tutor people it doesn't involve touching my penis." "I'm a bitch, a slutty bitch. I don't deserve calories." "Mommy wants to protect you baby." " Thomas has got to relax so the bullies don't beat him up." "Then we let the baby pit bulls out." CABINET TRIATHALON. My group, Sam, Tully and me. TURKEY FUCKERS. "I want to talk to all the girls before you get on stage and make me some money." "I'm interested in a lot more than stripping." "Terrance the photos are crap." "Crap is not good." "Her soul is not in focus." "My shirt fell off." "Calling her honey encourages this behavior." "I'm a major talent, I don't need you." EUGENE. "I've been sleeping in your basement." "You are like a troll." "Your wife outdid herself." "I made more of my famous bacon dates." "Why don't you try not touching me for awhile." "I made comedy hors d'oeuvres." "The troll comes up and visits me at the office."

A BOOK OF OVERDRAMATIC CONFESSIONS

2005-11-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

I saw Elna Baker's one woman show Friday evening 11/25/05. Elnas' life has not kaleidoscoped in the progression most of us know. She tells her story well. We learned much about Elna: She is a virgin, yes virgin, can you believe it virgin. The tranquality of her soul shines in her being. Some memorable quotes: "There is something about you that I sense is really different." "It's something about the way you make decisions." "He blew out the candle and ran away as fast as he could." " If I met a really cool Scientologist, I would be really confused." "The point of that is to meet one another and get married." "On our wedding night we're going to kiss for the very first time." "I looked at clouds for like three hours." "This little lady bug landed on my shoulder." "Suddenly I didn't have enough money for rent." "The fact I'm religious makes me a really good liar." "I'd like to make a toast to 7-11 for redefining converience." "I care way too much about boys." "Instead of saying penetrate, we should say envelop." " I immediately allowed him to rename me and relocate me." "It killed all chance of romance." "You need to move on." "I noticed guys notice me." " There is a beautiful people club." " You only notice people if you find them attractive, or know you can use them." "I bet you were a cheerleader in high school." "You're a waste of a woman." "I can't believe you won't have sex before you're married." "Life is a balancing act." "I pretend to have sex on stage with imaginary partners." "Why don't I get to sit next to people I could fall in love with?"

SHOWS

2005-11-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

I will be appearing in the following graduation shows: UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE 307 W. 26th St. at 8th Ave. Sunday December 4th at 1 PM. UCBtheater.com. MAGNET THEATER 29th St. east of 8th Ave. south side of street. Thursday evenings beginning at 9:30 Dec. 8th, Dec. 22, Jan. 5th, Jan 12th, Jan. 19th, Jan 26th, Feb. 9th, Feb. 23 rd. Magnettheater.com

IMPRODOME 11/18/05

2005-11-20T12:07:00.000-08:00

Castigated tinkle defibrillated glass. British punk rocker, really an american lass. Hunger for food or hope or pussy or cock or maybe, maybe, maybe ... Love! Bite, bite, bite, delicious life. Lubrication, sanatizing soul, Jack Daniels. Elves fornicating with similtaneous verve lubrication of cash registers. Fucking your sister ... ooooooohhhhh, yuck, yuck, gross, gross, gross. Bowling, fuck, bowling, fuck, bowling, fuck, bowling ... bowling wins. Crossing line, reality dream, an attempted lip kiss -- saliva-- danger, danger, danger. No exchange of body fluids with strangers in improv, in life, anywhere. Metaphor pizza, promise disappointment ... cheat the poor man. He deserved it; done in by his desire for taudry meaningless brief thrill of sex with a stranger. Pyramid block revenge, zapping nipples as choras of life explodes. Long lonely road timelessly excoriates souls of man and beast and earth and sky and universe. Basement devils inprision body soul mind life, break free: IMPRODOME. DOG MAFIA "I'm hungry, and I hope you can find it in your heart to provide some food.""That croussant is obviously magical." "There is a big problem in the village." "And so the giant fell." "You've really grown into a man on our journey." INVITRO. "I didn't see too many people when I came in here." "You're riding this birthday thing all day." "There's a girl out there, I'm pretty sure she likes me." "So you got a crush on my man." "Who goes out and buys a whole flock of chickens during the avian bird flu season?" "You are not from the midwest or the south." PIECE OF GLITTER. "My parents are coming today." "You sound like your mother." "You're just amazing to me." THE PIT VIPORS. "It is that time again where I do these marvelous things." " I created Christmas in business school." "There is no father, I just got pregnant." "That's a real bummer about the DNA test." SOMETHING CLEVER. "Triple maximum exposure, are you ready for this?" "I know shes my sister, but." "I want that sweet sweet taste of revenge." "How much money do you have?" PLANKTON. That's your bill." "I'm going through some hard times." "Why did she leave me for him?" "She didn't deserve a guy like you anyway." BLOW POPS. my group. Diana said: "What the fuck did I just see? I heard one time in the mosh you took your pants off." WILKERS AND JOHN MURRAY. "Your brother can come and go like he pleases, because he's like the wind." "I know I'm handsome." "My wife is sick tonight." PANDEMIC INFANTICIDE. "I don't know if you're ready for this party, maybe you should leave." "You're screwing me with that bubble machine." "Go do it by the flagpole." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Now there are three of me." "Hold it a second while number two slaps you." "He's not smart enough for a plan." "This play is about revenge." "Paddle machine, or the nipples get zapped." "It sounds like bonuses, you got drunk and missed work." "Now we can eat TV dinners." MIGHTY FIST. The past is this long and lonely road you should never go down." "Come back from the happy land where you went to for a moment." "Science is the universal language, and math and love." RUBBER BAND. "I'm going to pack these feelings in." "We're going to get you to an institution, both of you." "I want to go back to someplace fun, before I remember things." "Where's your g-d now?" "You're lucky my wife is kinder than your G-d."

IMPRODOME 11/11/05

2005-11-14T07:18:00.000-08:00

Actual accounting accolades accumulate aerodomes attention. Beautiful bodies begotten before beastly boredom beholds benign beatoffs. Careasing careless crevices carefully. Darn dufus dynamite detritus delirious dandelions decorating dasdardly deeds demon delight. Every eunuch escalates easily emotionless energy enema. From fainthearted fearmones fearless faggotts forgotten foreign fucks. Giving garrulous gosch gelt. Helping hands hindering hindsight hyenas. IMPRODOME: INCORRIGIBLE. My Team, no quotes. MILITIA TITS. "If you want to kill the amimal, you must think like the animal." "Something happened when I was young." ""Yeah, and I'm fucking someone else." "Did you guys ever think we're too cool for ourselves?" FRIENDS SEASON ELEVEN 3000. "We're all dieing." "That's my head, my inner thoughts." "You're turning into me." "I'm probably going to beat you at this game." EARL GREY AND THE TEA BAGS. "How many Greek city/states do we need to defeat to feel good about ourselves." "I see your emotions, and I don't like emotions." " A book is journey, not destination." "They should invent a three digit number for emergencies." " Do I have to spell it out for you?" LEAN PIKCENS. "This is great." "You sure you're comfortable?" "Maybe not, his perspective has changed." "You can't base a relationship on cosmo." "I hit her with my car." " What other choice did I have but to leave him?" RUBBER BAND. "I'm the first me!" "Well look who has a healthy self asteem." "I'm the first biggest idiot." "I'm going to miss you so much." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "The terrorists have taken over." "I'm just a lonely Indian in the cupboard." WOTE did an excellent performance. With emotion and inflection of speech Shawn W. makes the mundane exciting and interesting. I was unable to write more quotes because WOTE performed in darkness.

SUAREZ and FANCY DRAGON 11/9/05

2005-11-11T07:59:00.000-08:00

Did you ever go to the theater just to have fun? I don't mean feeling up your date fun. No, just fun. Just taking in all the mayhem and silliness and physicality and words and heat and mood and smells and people: that kind of fun. Well if thats' your deal then check out SUAREZ and FANCY DRAGON. Some memorable quotes: "We love to document funerals." "I think I have diabetes." "I'm sorry, he'll be punished." "I've been thinking about going to Paris." "This is not about you." "So you're a dude." "I want you so bad right now." "I brought you here to tell you a story, all of you." "I want you to resist the cravings to touch them please." "It was a huge party, and we woke up together." "I found out I was herpes girl." "You were an itch in your daddys' pants, when I was pitching grounders." "I call it jart." "We have enough faith, we can change any situation."

PEOPLES IMPROV THEATER Sunday 11/13/05

2005-11-11T07:50:00.000-08:00

Look forward to a great night at the PIT, Sunday: Matt Donnellys' level III graduation show, 6:30 PM. Last week, they were great, they were real, they were amazing. Jen Nails' level II, Do It Yourself, graduation show, 8:00 PM. Be there or be square. At 9:30PM, expand your improv horizons with Cliche Theater: musical improvisation extrodinair. Musical Improvisation is not just music, it is musical theater, with songs, dialogue, and choreography. See you at the theater.

MAGNETOSPHERE

2005-11-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

Looking for a great show. -- bing bang bong, zip zap zop. -- Check out the Magnet theater on Thursday evenings at 8:00 and 9:30 PM. See what the reviewers said: "Chris O'Neal was fabulous." "Alana Fishbein was extraordinary." "Kelly Buttermore was delicious." I could go on and on. Check it out.

IMPRODOME 11/4/05

2005-11-06T09:47:00.000-08:00

Banana dildos fornicating to Shakesperian sonnetts. Sinful sellouts perverting youth. Cruelty colors vision with pinks and reds and blues and rainbows. Color of perversion; death dreams awaken to reality. Making out washes souls with miraculous luster. Mind games, sober, or not, imagination/reality converge with delusional perversion. Bread, life giving relaxation fixation, amimated sex freaks, geeks, eating dead pussy in their minds. Synthesis of reality boggles like pimples on grey matter. Microcosm surrounded by walls, by pavement, by rivers, by oceans. Alien spies microscopically intrude. Reality frozen like stalagtites under mother earth tucked in etherial dungeons: IMPRODOME. Diana uplifted us with her opening monologue... life is what it is, appearance and reality: guys are perverts, women are uplifted, or maybe not. INVIGORATING NAP. "I've got a lot of sins." "I kicked him out after Tracy hit puberty, I didn't want to take any chances." "You can sin in her mouth if you want to." "You pussy, eat it." ANONOMOUS. My team. BOMBASTIC. "They're making fun of me at school today.""Children can be cruel." "They sent you to the evil villain school too." "I'm probably racist in some small way." "You are wierding me the fuck'in out.""I have a guru now." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Someone took our camp." "We got a dead boby we got to chop up." "I didn't ask why he killed the guy or who he is." BITTER BUTTER BATTER. "Are you thirsty my boy, the rains are coming soon." "I think he wants to make out." "Well I'm glad you could make it." "Are you playing mind games?" "This is bull shit." WAIT WAIT WAIT. "There is another sex around?" "You're so middle school." "Carla is being a little bitch." "Your mom makes the craziest lunches for you." FORM, THE GINGER DANGER BAND. "It helps me sing." "You're all anal." "You're just in my head, aren't you?" "That was not cool." " Now theres a bodski." "You're a twisted sex freak." "Not as natural as wacking off." "Do you thing we're doing this because we're fucked up?"RAPE STOPPERS. "It's a big amazing rainbow." "You know I hate fucking violence." "You always give me the greatest food, so I thought you might know something about life." "My pet cat died." "My cats playing with me." " I got herpes." "I like look'in like a woman & fuck'in guys." "I've never had sex."

PEOPLES IMPROV THEATER 11/2/05

2005-11-03T08:25:00.000-08:00

Good energy, fun night at the Peoples Improv Theater. The evening began with Molassi; it was fun, good scenes. Being a traditionalist I prefer the old format with two person scenes. The new host, Marcus Bonet, has mixed it up. Last night rocked with three person scenes. Marcus is such a rebel. Dion and Ali rocked with scetchprov: three core scenes, two terrorists, Doctor patient, and taxi driver passenger, all moved fast with a mesmerizing emotional edge. The high energy intro was great. The conclusion on a subway train was fun. FACULTY/BIG BLACK CAR. High energy, fun to watch. 29th STREET SOCIAL CLUB. Both teams kept it moving, with high energy. SUAREZ -- very good use of physicallity, good multiple second beats. Suarez really hit it. FANCY DRAGON--Great group game. Some memorable quotes: SUAREZ. "You look great, you've obviously been taking care of yourself." "I'm letting myself go.""I need someone there when I ... go." "A lot of other guys might complain, not me." "I prefer to think of it as giving quality service to the company.""I like to think I was bent over metaphorically.""How could you embaress me like that?" "He knows too much english for his own good." "A latino that doesn't have a latino." "I found the coolant the stuff grandpa makes oput back." "When I was little, I was short too." "I'm tired of pretending I'm your friend, I'm your daughter." FANCY DRAGON. "You've been following me for a couple of blocks." " I have trouble with people." "Wher ever you're going, I definitely want to be." " I gave that up to be an administrator at a hospital." "There's a picture of you canoodling." " I have the stamina of a tantric monk." "Some other demon was here. Son of a bitch." "You can't teach pathetic." MINGLE. "I don't understand why you can go into this place and act like buffoons." "I'm sorry, this friendship is not going to work out." "Does he have a large penis, like I have?" "It's probably the ancient toilet of Julius Caesar." We found this at the cursed tomb." MOSH. In life all things go in cycles. When I first attended the MOSH almost one year ago, it was super high energy. Many sharp minded improvers complimented the atmosphere with their inate brilliance. I suppose we all have only so much time; many of our compatriots now experience IMPRODOME, and do not bring their energy to the MOSH. The Mosh is there still, and it is fun, and it is a great opportunity to exercise our mental muscles. See you at the theater. Steve

Kelly Buttermore and Me

2005-11-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

I was blessed with the opportunity to bask in the richness of Kelly Buttermores' one woman show, last Monday night, at the Peoples Improv Theater. Unfortunately, this was the last show. I heard someone say "This is so great, they may bring it back." Kelly tells the riveting tale of her birth, miracle existance, life and desires, through her own voice, and through the voice of her Grandfather. The show was fun. I could picture her Grandfather; more than that, my mind was transported back to the evening Kelly and I improved at Molassi (the slow jam). In our scene Kelly played the part of a girl. I played her much older Father. I prattled on and on about my life experiences. In our scene this all seemed irrevelant to Kelly; this is how it is in life. (Truth in Comedy). Kellys' rendition of her Grandfather reminded me of me in our scene. Perhaps it is my ego, still, I wonder: did our scene help create the genesis of an idea?

GERTRUDE and MR. RESISTOR 10/30/05

2005-10-31T08:23:00.000-08:00

Both teams kept the action moving, Mr. Resistors' zip zop factor was a little higher than Gertrude. Both teams were fun to watch; they made an enjoyable improv evening. I went to the Del Close Marathon at UCB in July. There was a countdown clock facing the stage. This seemed to be a great device to facilitate conclusion of a Teams' set. When time is down to the last few minutes, actors can try to bring disparate scenes together. Tieing together of the scenes into a cogent story, would have enhanced both teams performance. Some memorable quotes: GERTRUDE. "I think you're pretty" "I want to touch it." (birthmak) "It's rough." "Dude, it's your bachelor party." "When it comes to debauchery, there's nothing like a list." "Milk isn't going to do any good, you're dieing.""I kinda want to live." "Sometimes the truth isn't good." "I'm in charge of this party." "I'm pregnant." "I love you and I trust you." "If you touch another living woman, I will cut your penis off." "We don't have to rape anybody tonight." MR. RESISTOR. " I always wanted to kill a white boy." "My wife left me, she took the kids and went to New Mexico.""My dad didn't love me growing up." "Son when you're a man you'll know what it's about." "It'll be OK we'll get through this." " I woke up this morning, and I realized I discovered the color of depression."" You're blowing my mind a little too early in the morning.""Human beings are fucked up."

STRIKING VIKING STORY PIRATES

2005-10-31T08:01:00.000-08:00

In life we all have a responsibility that goes beyond and outside of ourselves. For us, it is not just about performing, or writing, or entertaining, part of the deal is inspiring, -- planting a seed. Striking Viking Story Pirates (www.storypirates.com) entertains, and introduces children to the world of writing, and performing, and thinking. The company solicits stories from children. These stories form the genesis of a series of scripts, which are presented with music and puppetry. I saw their performance at the Drama Book Store theater, on Saturday. The show is designed for children; I enjoyed it too. I looked at the audiance around me, the children were enthralled. One of the performed pieces was originally written by a girl in the audiance. The cast honored this aspiring writer with a guest appearance on stage, and a signed cast poster from the show. This is an inspiring endeavor. There is only one drawback: The cost of $20.00 for an adult and $15.00 for a child is a big chunk of change for a young family.

IMPRODOME 10/28/05

2005-10-30T10:46:00.000-08:00

Bellicose bombastic bastards, faithless lunatics, parrotting blasphemous chatter. Gumming through lips coated with life force candy. Sweetness personified in time and space inhabited through guidance of imagination. Electric force stimulation of neurons and matter, encapsulated, connected in cranial rectum of our essential being. One tiny speck in gargantuan vastness of all; one infintessemal milli moment in perspectivve of eternity: IMPRODOME. The events of this night will remain seared permanently in the crevices of my being. On a new twist, Dr. Oddbody MC'd. Sean Wiggins, physically personified as honest Abe Lincoln, imbued the miasma with his perspective of sex, life, sex, work, sex: You get the idea. CO-DEPENDENTS. Dave, Sean and me. I have no comments or quotes, since this was my team. Yang told me, he thinks I am afraid of something, when I am on stage. I did not know what he meant. BEES. "It's pretty damning what your husband is doing." "That's me as James Bond dressed up as Abraham Lincoln." PENALTY BOX. "You need me coming with my big erect cock." "Seriously, ease back or somebody's going to get hurt."" She seems titillated by dreams that are not me." Great energy, fast cuts. Zip, Zap, Zop. SCOOTER LIBBY. "Can't you finish the chess game." "Let's jump off a clock tower right now." "You have time to masturbate?""I don't want to have sex with a 65 year old woman." LIBERATED AFRO BUNNY. "I've never done this before, you know that." "Careful, those are real." "If I don't make the dance team, I'm going to make your life a living hell." "We're a traditional household." "I've got two frigging dads." "I was trying to be cool." "If there is one thing a woman of my generation knows it is to be forced into things." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. Starring Bukkake girl. "Should we tell our friend about our story?" "Where theres howling, theres probably treasure." "You're looking real itchy." BRIDES OF CHRIST. "He had holes in his brain before he got that.""and a huge cock." "I'm careless with it, like some people are careless with our friendship." "Why can't you be a lesbian, like your sister." SMACK O LANTERN. "My life has been toiling on this paper." "Now all you have is the gypsey woman program." "Time for old Joe to end his life on this earth." "What are we going to do with ourselves, now that we know our Father is Lucifer?"

PEOPLES IMPROV THEATER 10/23/05

2005-10-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

Falling mercilessly through incenced delusion. Believability layered together with intriguing fortune. Tarot cards, mumbles, deconstruction variation, pajamas no, reality shows never seen. The volunteer from the audiance was brilliant. Using a tarot card reading for deconstruction: a clever idea. Insence heightened the feeling. GERTRUDE. Some notable truths from the show: "I'm sorry Darlene, I'll do dishes in a minute." " I don't know how you get through life." " A lot of girls want to have sex a lot." "You're the coolest person I've met." Great second beat with mumbling concluded the show. Bam, bam, bam, cut, cut, cut, scene, scene, scene. Pete is master of the pause that refreshes. Good second beats throughout. Funny conclusion in mens room. MR. RESISTER. Some notable quotes: "I can't believe you did this to me.""I would have been here sooner, but the bathroom only had a hand dryer option.""You're not good enough for the job." "How hard can it be? Apparently very hard." I enjoyed sounds of expresso machine.

IMPRODOME 10/21/05

2005-10-22T11:04:00.000-07:00

Meritorious indignation shadowed by fluorescent streams of hope, of love, of squalor, of genius. Sitting, absorbing, in a room of black: black walls, black ceiling, black floor, black chairs. Black like the humus of mother earth; black like the mid-night sky on a moonless night with stars spangling: brilliance. Cathartic energy envelops all, everything: calling forth devil and saint. Screaming luminescence of grey matter: mind stuff, molecules juxtaposed fortituously in grandour eminating beacons shining in night time frenzy: Sparkling, boiling cauldron of soup, no elixir -- elixir of timeless energy transforming tenticles stimulating claustrophobic dens of inequity buried in depths of our bodies, mind, soul: BEING. Essence personified by anecdotal evidence buried within us: Eras of hunger, famine, bounty, riches, ignorance, brilliance. We are the sum of all history: of parents, and ancestors, and humankind, of life, of rocks, dirt and atoms. Freedom constrained by bonds; let it go, let it happen: IMPRODOME! WHITES OF THEIR EYES. Excellent high energy genesis. We journeyed from support group for people who killed things with hammers, to donut shop, to wife to portabella mushroom dinner. White boys sort of found scene in the killing of cat; they did not have their usual razor sharp edge. LEATHER PENCIL FOLLOW. Good scene work with piano. We journeyed from museum of antiquities to hall of violence. Very good characeter work by Ernie. Bar scene: " you'll find your guy someday." Scene moved to trailer. Good truth in scene; good message about life. INDIGO BEARD. Protaginist Switch came in with bang; good play by Gina, being in love with Switch. Running. Losing son to asthma, with relief was scarry but believable. Ghost of Bobby, good ending, adding element of conscience. BRIDES OF CHRIST. Funny classroom scene with teacher picking on one student and lauding cheating student. Interesting journey into the mind. Juxtaposition of defication, conscience, ego, potty mouth, repressed memory. PENALTY BOX. Good opening: "Got us by the balls out there." Good, fast cuts, kept audiance attention. Brothel scene got a little silly. Amazing final scene, with fortune teller morph to time machine. RALPH WALDO EMERSON. Mom scene did not get to the point. Word play on names, cucumber, all silly, but fun to watch. LIGHT PARADE. Point of view of cancer patient did not ring true. Interview scene, tennis court on beach, all good play with a moral: the date is not working. MOBY DICK FOR WHATS A DICK FOR TO PISS WITH. Villan, astrologer, friendsters, midgets, mirrors, confession, spa, kiss, take off the blouse, broken fish tank, shoot her, babies were loud cryers: What more can I say, it was fun to watch. HOODIES. Detention room, praying, angels, no ghosts. A fitting end to a very exciting Improdome.

LET ME KNOW ABOUT YOUR SHOW

2005-10-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

Let me know if you are performing, writing, or going to a show. I will attend if I am able. I will post my thoughts on this blog.

Improdome 10/14/05

2005-10-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

The night was very high energy, and tons of fun. CATRINA. Big Mac scene did not get to the point. Prophalactic scene was cute in its imagery. The married scene was silly and fun. BRIDES OF CHRIST. Great emotional edge. Good cuts to Mexican restaurant and speed dating. Counciling scene was fun INDIGO BEARD. Disfunctional family -- good emotion. Life guard on beach was cool. WHITES OF THIER EYES. Good dream sequence with recurring demon:Where did reality begin and end? Reverse film technique was cute. Excellent ending with moral comment: Maybe we're not cut out for villany. RABBI BONERFACE. Abusing wife scene was silly, but had good emotional edge. Governor scene did not get to point quickly. The scene degenerated into bisexual marriage theme. The animal scene did not get to point quickly. KA CHING. My group. HOT BITCHES. Good characters. Emotion built nicely. Dodgeball scene with disfunctional family was funny. Good physicality overall. Good second beat with Lisa Lister. THE THIRD RAIL. Good character, attitude,fun to watch. Therapist, friends at work, water cooler love fest. Good second beat with son of therapist. NOW ADAYS. Video will was clever. Good second beat with sardines and midgetville. FLIGHT OF THE BLACK. Great beginning with artificial legs. Good emotional point of view by Diane and Bob. Gay dads, clever and funny cyborg. good second and multiple beats on rape scene. MOBY DICK FACE. Union Pacific scene did not get to point. Good emotional tone on step sisters. Cat scene was cute and clever; this lead to cat finders with good ending.

IMPRODOME 10/7/05

2005-10-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

We learned some things, among them is: Diana's inner voice is Shawn. Hardy Boys. The first scene degenerated into trite homosexuality. Scene about chasing girls meandered. It took too long for Mom and Dad scene to get to point. Old English. Hostage scene started with good emotional tone, then degenerated into silliness. (shooting holes in hippo collection). Good scene work in bar. Plush. Good use of monologue. Nice play with smoking and language, mexican food and air freshener. The second monologue lead to a scene that did not get to the point. The salutarian scene had a good dynamic. Oven Mit Parade. Good emotional committment in first scene, the scene meandered. The uncle scene had good potential and built a new emotional tone. Handicapped scene was too funny to be creepy. Flight of the Blazak. Excellent scene work and emotional tone in Diner. Good segue into robbing diner. Ernie's epic journey was silly; it worked and it was very funny. Intruder. The first scene with Police was confusing, truth in comedy was lost. A good attempt at redemption was made with second beat near end of set. French scene was good group game. The scene started with silliness, but gained emotional tone, and created a reality. Whites of Their Eyes. The rollercoaster scene meandered and did not get to the point. The pool scene with a second head sprouting from shoulder was silly, but did manage to get laughs. Penis mention at end was overdone. Scenes with money and college were silly but showed a desire to find a universal truth to communicate to audiance. Premoisened. Excellent emotional tone: from getting high, to tupperware party to prostate removal. Good final line: "Sorry I slept with your brother." Over all this was a high energy, fun to be at event.

Truth In Comedy

2005-10-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

Why does an audiance respond to some things and not others? Response comes from some sort of identification or recognition of reality. When watching a performance, the audiance becomes G-d. They approve, disapprove, do not understand, and sometimes, they let their minds wander. As improvers we need to create a reality observers can identify with, and recognize. If people cannot identify the place, situation, players, their minds will wander, they will turn off. Performers should not take too long to establish a reality, or get to point (climax), or truth. Too much dilly dallying is the kiss of death: dreaded audiance boredom sets in. Identifiable reality is harder to establish in fantasy scenes. On an alien space ship, we do not immediately identify with the aliens. If these aliens have to deal with familiar problems, we can then draw them in, but it takes more time, and effort. Too many improvers resort to shock to draw in an audiance: homo sexuality is a big theme. Grasping onto shock short changes the ultimate power we may be able to achieve in a scene. The best scenes I have watched involved every day people in every day places, presented with not every day, believable problems. It is a great deal of fun seeing how actors play out these situations: infidelity, divorce, death, marriage, etc. This brings us to an important part of truth in comedy. Appropriate reactions to fantasy situations on stage, can be a powerful teaching and socializing tool. We have the power to do a great deal of good.

IMPRODOME 9/30/05

2005-10-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

As part of her opening monologue Diana made the declaration all women should make to the world, to men, to me: "I love cock". I had the feeling she was not talking about chickens! Pepperoni Pop Corn brought forth the first few lines which had potential for creating an awsome scene, and set. They got lost. Truth in comedy would have triumphed. The beginning of the mother/son relationship was awsome; they changed the characters, the nature of the scene, and as a result it got silly, muddled, and not funny. TRUTH IN COMEDY. Plush was silly but fun. I suppose I have a different mind than most people. I did not see that real emotional edge that makes improv and theater and film engrossing. I did not think they deserved to win. Bitches of Justice set had a nice start building the story. Good second beat with binoculers. They were drunk, and suddenly were sober. This did not make sense to me. Whites of Their Eyes: Excellent emotional committment to video game by Yang. The overall story had some flow and made sense: Shawn was believable as a bad kid. The overall story was not really believable, but hey this is improv. This simple but elegent improv set could be expanded into a serious script. Oreo Jump did not get to the point or basic truth for awhile. The multiple couple including girl/girl was a fun surprise. This improv set could be expanded into a porno movie script. Premoisened exhibited good emotional edge throughout. Good use of multiple characters. This was a group that was really fun to watch. GR. Spickles was fun to watch and exhibited some truth in comedy. Good use of physicality.

9/29/05 Gertrude

2005-09-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

Parasite---a suggestion morphed into safe sex, sperm doner, fertilized eggs, weird babies, conjoined twins, a school for people like us, vacation, and collecting the monkeys sperm. Who cared about truth in comedy? It was fun. it had a flow. Hope Gertrude works together some more: they need to develop a greater level of intimacy and depth of mutual understanding. I suppose improving is like being married or being with someone a long time. To make it all work really well all the time a group needs to really, really know one another.

9/28/05 29th St. Socal Club: Suarez

2005-09-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

Abstinance is Key: Truth! Miandering through troughs of mind: Mish mosh of thoughts finding one thread: ear wax, Moshe the Israeli. Second beats triumph. Bring threads together, no ends hang... Improv is about many things: one of them is our own mind. State of mind is preeminent: Focus! Beginning of set lacked flow or intimacy. More warm ups, more coffee, more sugar, maybe a cluster fuck. I don't know.

Suarez 9/28/05 (29th St Social Club)

2005-09-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Confluence of ideas bombards the senses and audiance and performers. Finding the nut of conscience, brooding through a metroplex of mind juice: one idea, one truth... Abstinance is key, peanuts, Bin Ladens store. Ah Ha: ear wax, Moshe, second beats: Try to bring all streams together. Sometimes too many streams leave dangling ends: non-sense, misunderstanding. At the beginning of the set Suarez lacked flow and intimacy. Need more warm-up, more coffee, cluster fuck! I really do not know.

MINGLE 9/21/05 (8 Studs and 1 Lady)

2005-09-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

Overall, a very enjoyable, high energy performance. Champions sport shop scene had good use of multiple characters. Clothier scene did not define the relationship, or get to the point. Puppy dog calanders included some entertaining walk-ons. Murder scene ended with truth in comedy, which was expected, and fun to watch. (it consisted of a fantasy meeting between a couple). Gun scene was silly, but fun to watch. Chair scene included good characters, and flashback. Good second beat to Champions, and Puppy dog calander scenes. Mingle was followed by a high energy, fun to be at Molassi.

Peoples Improv Theater 9/17/05

2005-09-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

MR. RESISTOR degenerated into trite gayness at the onset of their performance, which morphed into angry quasi-heterosexualtiy. There was a good emotional edge, with nice flow. As often happens with improv, Mr. Resistor, left truth in comedy behind. As a result, their time on stage was not as enjoyable as it could have been. They used split scene technique well. Cuts were good with a nice flow. They needed to bring up more energy: more coffee, longer warm-up. Nice Spanish scene. Nice second beat on robbery and kidnapping scene. PYGMEE MARMALADE did not stay true to principle of truth in comedy. In particular the space ship scene degenerated into silly gayness. There was a lack of real emotional edge. There was a nice flow in their presentation, with good cuts. The Monster scene was ridiculous, but it worked. Good second beat on Monster scene.

the day before 9/11

2005-09-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

Bombastic cleavage of midnight sun Profanity inspires Sound of a gun Smiles at night How soon we forget Lifes happiness is preset Be kind to others and it will return Do wrong And you will burn 9/10 the day before 9/11 featured high energy improv : Mr. Restistor and Gertrude at the PIT and The Project at Magnet. Good energy supplants bad. And takes away the sad.

New York Musical Festival

2005-09-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why: The New York Musical Festival is coming to town: 35 musicals in three weeks, starting tomorrow. Improv is theater, and theater is good training for improvers. Music tunes into basic vibrations in the soul. So my soul brothers and sisters: see some theater. Some of our improver freinds will perform at some venues. I heard a rumor: Rebekka Johnson and Ernie Privatera will be performing in "Wrong Number". Rebekka is pretty and smart, with a quick wit. The talents of Ernie are amazing and indescribeable. At UCB, one night, I saw Ernie perform all parts of a one person musical. Fodder for this production came from three very different suggestions from the audiance. Ernie took these disparate ideas and formed them into a congruent real live musical extravaganza, in about 15 minutes. It was an awsome thing to behold. Steve

Improdome at the PIT 9/9/05

2005-09-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

Improdome is a bevy of three person scenes. Put together a team, enter, and you are in. As with all improv or theater or life, there are high energy days and there are days that are not. Last night was high energy fun. Improdome is at the Peoples Improv Theater, Friday nights at 11PM.

English Rakugo: Ofuku Yose

2005-08-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

Sunday night August 21, featured an amazing event at the Peoples Improv Theater. Rakugo: an anciant form of Japanese storytelling. Watching these performers gave me a huge lesson on methods of presentation. Very few PIT citizens were in attendance. Watch the schedule, try to seize these opportunities.

Improvers Should go to the Theater

2005-08-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

The fringe festival has been in town, with many productions. Some are amazing, many are not so great. All are worthwhile. Observing theater can be a great tool for improvers, on many levels. We can learn about presentation of emotion, flow of events in a way that facilitates understanding. As audiance members we can feel the energy and perhaps develop some understanding of the ways to create this energy.

Neils' Fairwell

2005-08-25T07:51:00.000-07:00

Monday night at the Peoples Improv Theater, on W. 29th St. NYC, featured something really cool: A farewell party for Neil VanKerkov. This was not just any party, it was an improv roast. This was a fun, really cool concept, obviously conceived and presented with love.

Cultural Entertainment Perspective

2005-08-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a foreign film with subtitles? And did you find yourself saying " I don't get it". The truth is: You don't get it. The stimuli influencing our entertainment G-spot are to a great degree determined by acculturation. The environment, experience, the mileau of our existance, all come together to influence neural stimulation pleasure pathways. The impressions in our mind, formed and codified molicule by molicule, form pathways of understanding. Literature: novels, stories, plays, movies, all follow a certain and specific formula. Deviate from the formula and entertainment will not be entertaining. We do not always focus on this reality when performing improv. As a remedy to this lack of clarity or "muddiness" of shows, certain devices have been created to facilitate the flow: The Harold is the most obvious example. My own impression is: performers do seem to have a certain intuitive understanding. In long form improv we want to tell a story with an enciting incident, emotion, climax. The best stories exhibit a moral, or basic truth. Good literature, including good improv should leave audiance members feeling they have learned something, or given them a greater understanding of emotion or the world around us. Steve

The Project

2005-08-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

The Project is an improv event at The Magnet Theater on W. 29th St. NYC, on Saturday Nights. The event is hosted and presumably created by Terry Jinn. Various local teams showcase their their talents and abilities. The evening concludes with Big Team Skirmish. Two teams perform; the winning team is selected through secret ballot by audiance members. The winning team returnes the following week. Teams are selected from volunteers who have put their name in a hat.

Magnet theater Project 8/20/05

2005-08-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

I rounded out my Saturday night at the Magnet Theater, on 29th St, just east of 8th Ave. The Project, a weekly event, chugged on with more improv -- sometimes great, sometimes good, and sometimes, sometimes. With improv, awsome moments come unexpectedly. On Saturday night those moments came forth during Big Team Skirmish: a competition between two randomly selected teams. Amanda Allen was awsome. The event was h0sted by Terry Jinn and the lovely Rosemary Stevens. The evening rocked with teams: Nice Squad, Idedorad Stewart, Tuscadero, and Biggest Dog In the World. Talk to you again soon. Steve