A BOOK OF OVERDRAMATIC CONFESSIONS

I saw Elna Baker's one woman show Friday evening 11/25/05. Elnas' life has not kaleidoscoped in the progression most of us know. She tells her story well. We learned much about Elna: She is a virgin, yes virgin, can you believe it virgin. The tranquality of her soul shines in her being. Some memorable quotes: "There is something about you that I sense is really different." "It's something about the way you make decisions." "He blew out the candle and ran away as fast as he could." " If I met a really cool Scientologist, I would be really confused." "The point of that is to meet one another and get married." "On our wedding night we're going to kiss for the very first time." "I looked at clouds for like three hours." "This little lady bug landed on my shoulder." "Suddenly I didn't have enough money for rent." "The fact I'm religious makes me a really good liar." "I'd like to make a toast to 7-11 for redefining converience." "I care way too much about boys." "Instead of saying penetrate, we should say envelop." " I immediately allowed him to rename me and relocate me." "It killed all chance of romance." "You need to move on." "I noticed guys notice me." " There is a beautiful people club." " You only notice people if you find them attractive, or know you can use them." "I bet you were a cheerleader in high school." "You're a waste of a woman." "I can't believe you won't have sex before you're married." "Life is a balancing act." "I pretend to have sex on stage with imaginary partners." "Why don't I get to sit next to people I could fall in love with?"