IMPRODOME 11/25/05

Bubbling gismos, entrapped ferocious bobos let free, to be unbound like body, like mind, like soul of improvisor. Still cuteness cuddling anamously ghost like in its' intensity. Roaring voices crease through serenity: wake up world -- wake up world. Look at me, look at them, look at us. Pretend goddesses morphing into surreal reality. Boogers of the mind thrill unknown victims training for the next round of jibberish. Dininfected spontaniouty shepheardin new world reality. Organic insight foretells the boswain knocking doorless hopeing. New life, new universe, new being: IMPRODOME. PIT VIPORS. "I know who I look like." " I tell you what twenty years of hard labor will do to a man." "We're looking to party." "I love you, lets go to the tent.""Brits, woman,jobs,Ican't take it." SLAP SHOP SHINING DOLLS. "I'm just starving.""I lost my job." "The train is going to come any minute." "She reminds me of somebody." "You owe me that money." "I made out with him after that." "You're kind of antagonistic -- that's perception sharing." "You're stressing out my client here." "I felt like the dicipline has brought me back to where I want to be."It killed a lot of my brain cells. I used to huff paint thinner." "We could go in the back room and pray together." "Shes a sex addict too." WHITES OF THEIR EYEX. "That's going to be the perfect pre fire bombing my office meal." "Baby, that assembly line you were working on was no good for you." "It's OK Bob if the popular kids asked you to sit with them. it's OK." "I'm taking decisions and taking actions." "Normally when I tutor people it doesn't involve touching my penis." "I'm a bitch, a slutty bitch. I don't deserve calories." "Mommy wants to protect you baby." " Thomas has got to relax so the bullies don't beat him up." "Then we let the baby pit bulls out." CABINET TRIATHALON. My group, Sam, Tully and me. TURKEY FUCKERS. "I want to talk to all the girls before you get on stage and make me some money." "I'm interested in a lot more than stripping." "Terrance the photos are crap." "Crap is not good." "Her soul is not in focus." "My shirt fell off." "Calling her honey encourages this behavior." "I'm a major talent, I don't need you." EUGENE. "I've been sleeping in your basement." "You are like a troll." "Your wife outdid herself." "I made more of my famous bacon dates." "Why don't you try not touching me for awhile." "I made comedy hors d'oeuvres." "The troll comes up and visits me at the office."

A BOOK OF OVERDRAMATIC CONFESSIONS

I saw Elna Baker's one woman show Friday evening 11/25/05. Elnas' life has not kaleidoscoped in the progression most of us know. She tells her story well. We learned much about Elna: She is a virgin, yes virgin, can you believe it virgin. The tranquality of her soul shines in her being. Some memorable quotes: "There is something about you that I sense is really different." "It's something about the way you make decisions." "He blew out the candle and ran away as fast as he could." " If I met a really cool Scientologist, I would be really confused." "The point of that is to meet one another and get married." "On our wedding night we're going to kiss for the very first time." "I looked at clouds for like three hours." "This little lady bug landed on my shoulder." "Suddenly I didn't have enough money for rent." "The fact I'm religious makes me a really good liar." "I'd like to make a toast to 7-11 for redefining converience." "I care way too much about boys." "Instead of saying penetrate, we should say envelop." " I immediately allowed him to rename me and relocate me." "It killed all chance of romance." "You need to move on." "I noticed guys notice me." " There is a beautiful people club." " You only notice people if you find them attractive, or know you can use them." "I bet you were a cheerleader in high school." "You're a waste of a woman." "I can't believe you won't have sex before you're married." "Life is a balancing act." "I pretend to have sex on stage with imaginary partners." "Why don't I get to sit next to people I could fall in love with?"

SHOWS

I will be appearing in the following graduation shows: UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE 307 W. 26th St. at 8th Ave. Sunday December 4th at 1 PM. UCBtheater.com. MAGNET THEATER 29th St. east of 8th Ave. south side of street. Thursday evenings beginning at 9:30 Dec. 8th, Dec. 22, Jan. 5th, Jan 12th, Jan. 19th, Jan 26th, Feb. 9th, Feb. 23 rd. Magnettheater.com

IMPRODOME 11/18/05

Castigated tinkle defibrillated glass. British punk rocker, really an american lass. Hunger for food or hope or pussy or cock or maybe, maybe, maybe ... Love! Bite, bite, bite, delicious life. Lubrication, sanatizing soul, Jack Daniels. Elves fornicating with similtaneous verve lubrication of cash registers. Fucking your sister ... ooooooohhhhh, yuck, yuck, gross, gross, gross. Bowling, fuck, bowling, fuck, bowling, fuck, bowling ... bowling wins. Crossing line, reality dream, an attempted lip kiss -- saliva-- danger, danger, danger. No exchange of body fluids with strangers in improv, in life, anywhere. Metaphor pizza, promise disappointment ... cheat the poor man. He deserved it; done in by his desire for taudry meaningless brief thrill of sex with a stranger. Pyramid block revenge, zapping nipples as choras of life explodes. Long lonely road timelessly excoriates souls of man and beast and earth and sky and universe. Basement devils inprision body soul mind life, break free: IMPRODOME. DOG MAFIA "I'm hungry, and I hope you can find it in your heart to provide some food.""That croussant is obviously magical." "There is a big problem in the village." "And so the giant fell." "You've really grown into a man on our journey." INVITRO. "I didn't see too many people when I came in here." "You're riding this birthday thing all day." "There's a girl out there, I'm pretty sure she likes me." "So you got a crush on my man." "Who goes out and buys a whole flock of chickens during the avian bird flu season?" "You are not from the midwest or the south." PIECE OF GLITTER. "My parents are coming today." "You sound like your mother." "You're just amazing to me." THE PIT VIPORS. "It is that time again where I do these marvelous things." " I created Christmas in business school." "There is no father, I just got pregnant." "That's a real bummer about the DNA test." SOMETHING CLEVER. "Triple maximum exposure, are you ready for this?" "I know shes my sister, but." "I want that sweet sweet taste of revenge." "How much money do you have?" PLANKTON. That's your bill." "I'm going through some hard times." "Why did she leave me for him?" "She didn't deserve a guy like you anyway." BLOW POPS. my group. Diana said: "What the fuck did I just see? I heard one time in the mosh you took your pants off." WILKERS AND JOHN MURRAY. "Your brother can come and go like he pleases, because he's like the wind." "I know I'm handsome." "My wife is sick tonight." PANDEMIC INFANTICIDE. "I don't know if you're ready for this party, maybe you should leave." "You're screwing me with that bubble machine." "Go do it by the flagpole." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Now there are three of me." "Hold it a second while number two slaps you." "He's not smart enough for a plan." "This play is about revenge." "Paddle machine, or the nipples get zapped." "It sounds like bonuses, you got drunk and missed work." "Now we can eat TV dinners." MIGHTY FIST. The past is this long and lonely road you should never go down." "Come back from the happy land where you went to for a moment." "Science is the universal language, and math and love." RUBBER BAND. "I'm going to pack these feelings in." "We're going to get you to an institution, both of you." "I want to go back to someplace fun, before I remember things." "Where's your g-d now?" "You're lucky my wife is kinder than your G-d."

IMPRODOME 11/11/05

Actual accounting accolades accumulate aerodomes attention. Beautiful bodies begotten before beastly boredom beholds benign beatoffs. Careasing careless crevices carefully. Darn dufus dynamite detritus delirious dandelions decorating dasdardly deeds demon delight. Every eunuch escalates easily emotionless energy enema. From fainthearted fearmones fearless faggotts forgotten foreign fucks. Giving garrulous gosch gelt. Helping hands hindering hindsight hyenas. IMPRODOME: INCORRIGIBLE. My Team, no quotes. MILITIA TITS. "If you want to kill the amimal, you must think like the animal." "Something happened when I was young." ""Yeah, and I'm fucking someone else." "Did you guys ever think we're too cool for ourselves?" FRIENDS SEASON ELEVEN 3000. "We're all dieing." "That's my head, my inner thoughts." "You're turning into me." "I'm probably going to beat you at this game." EARL GREY AND THE TEA BAGS. "How many Greek city/states do we need to defeat to feel good about ourselves." "I see your emotions, and I don't like emotions." " A book is journey, not destination." "They should invent a three digit number for emergencies." " Do I have to spell it out for you?" LEAN PIKCENS. "This is great." "You sure you're comfortable?" "Maybe not, his perspective has changed." "You can't base a relationship on cosmo." "I hit her with my car." " What other choice did I have but to leave him?" RUBBER BAND. "I'm the first me!" "Well look who has a healthy self asteem." "I'm the first biggest idiot." "I'm going to miss you so much." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "The terrorists have taken over." "I'm just a lonely Indian in the cupboard." WOTE did an excellent performance. With emotion and inflection of speech Shawn W. makes the mundane exciting and interesting. I was unable to write more quotes because WOTE performed in darkness.

SUAREZ and FANCY DRAGON 11/9/05

Did you ever go to the theater just to have fun? I don't mean feeling up your date fun. No, just fun. Just taking in all the mayhem and silliness and physicality and words and heat and mood and smells and people: that kind of fun. Well if thats' your deal then check out SUAREZ and FANCY DRAGON. Some memorable quotes: "We love to document funerals." "I think I have diabetes." "I'm sorry, he'll be punished." "I've been thinking about going to Paris." "This is not about you." "So you're a dude." "I want you so bad right now." "I brought you here to tell you a story, all of you." "I want you to resist the cravings to touch them please." "It was a huge party, and we woke up together." "I found out I was herpes girl." "You were an itch in your daddys' pants, when I was pitching grounders." "I call it jart." "We have enough faith, we can change any situation."

PEOPLES IMPROV THEATER Sunday 11/13/05

Look forward to a great night at the PIT, Sunday: Matt Donnellys' level III graduation show, 6:30 PM. Last week, they were great, they were real, they were amazing. Jen Nails' level II, Do It Yourself, graduation show, 8:00 PM. Be there or be square. At 9:30PM, expand your improv horizons with Cliche Theater: musical improvisation extrodinair. Musical Improvisation is not just music, it is musical theater, with songs, dialogue, and choreography. See you at the theater.

MAGNETOSPHERE

Looking for a great show. -- bing bang bong, zip zap zop. -- Check out the Magnet theater on Thursday evenings at 8:00 and 9:30 PM. See what the reviewers said: "Chris O'Neal was fabulous." "Alana Fishbein was extraordinary." "Kelly Buttermore was delicious." I could go on and on. Check it out.

IMPRODOME 11/4/05

Banana dildos fornicating to Shakesperian sonnetts. Sinful sellouts perverting youth. Cruelty colors vision with pinks and reds and blues and rainbows. Color of perversion; death dreams awaken to reality. Making out washes souls with miraculous luster. Mind games, sober, or not, imagination/reality converge with delusional perversion. Bread, life giving relaxation fixation, amimated sex freaks, geeks, eating dead pussy in their minds. Synthesis of reality boggles like pimples on grey matter. Microcosm surrounded by walls, by pavement, by rivers, by oceans. Alien spies microscopically intrude. Reality frozen like stalagtites under mother earth tucked in etherial dungeons: IMPRODOME. Diana uplifted us with her opening monologue... life is what it is, appearance and reality: guys are perverts, women are uplifted, or maybe not. INVIGORATING NAP. "I've got a lot of sins." "I kicked him out after Tracy hit puberty, I didn't want to take any chances." "You can sin in her mouth if you want to." "You pussy, eat it." ANONOMOUS. My team. BOMBASTIC. "They're making fun of me at school today.""Children can be cruel." "They sent you to the evil villain school too." "I'm probably racist in some small way." "You are wierding me the fuck'in out.""I have a guru now." WHITES OF THEIR EYES. "Someone took our camp." "We got a dead boby we got to chop up." "I didn't ask why he killed the guy or who he is." BITTER BUTTER BATTER. "Are you thirsty my boy, the rains are coming soon." "I think he wants to make out." "Well I'm glad you could make it." "Are you playing mind games?" "This is bull shit." WAIT WAIT WAIT. "There is another sex around?" "You're so middle school." "Carla is being a little bitch." "Your mom makes the craziest lunches for you." FORM, THE GINGER DANGER BAND. "It helps me sing." "You're all anal." "You're just in my head, aren't you?" "That was not cool." " Now theres a bodski." "You're a twisted sex freak." "Not as natural as wacking off." "Do you thing we're doing this because we're fucked up?"RAPE STOPPERS. "It's a big amazing rainbow." "You know I hate fucking violence." "You always give me the greatest food, so I thought you might know something about life." "My pet cat died." "My cats playing with me." " I got herpes." "I like look'in like a woman & fuck'in guys." "I've never had sex."

PEOPLES IMPROV THEATER 11/2/05

Good energy, fun night at the Peoples Improv Theater. The evening began with Molassi; it was fun, good scenes. Being a traditionalist I prefer the old format with two person scenes. The new host, Marcus Bonet, has mixed it up. Last night rocked with three person scenes. Marcus is such a rebel. Dion and Ali rocked with scetchprov: three core scenes, two terrorists, Doctor patient, and taxi driver passenger, all moved fast with a mesmerizing emotional edge. The high energy intro was great. The conclusion on a subway train was fun. FACULTY/BIG BLACK CAR. High energy, fun to watch. 29th STREET SOCIAL CLUB. Both teams kept it moving, with high energy. SUAREZ -- very good use of physicallity, good multiple second beats. Suarez really hit it. FANCY DRAGON--Great group game. Some memorable quotes: SUAREZ. "You look great, you've obviously been taking care of yourself." "I'm letting myself go.""I need someone there when I ... go." "A lot of other guys might complain, not me." "I prefer to think of it as giving quality service to the company.""I like to think I was bent over metaphorically.""How could you embaress me like that?" "He knows too much english for his own good." "A latino that doesn't have a latino." "I found the coolant the stuff grandpa makes oput back." "When I was little, I was short too." "I'm tired of pretending I'm your friend, I'm your daughter." FANCY DRAGON. "You've been following me for a couple of blocks." " I have trouble with people." "Wher ever you're going, I definitely want to be." " I gave that up to be an administrator at a hospital." "There's a picture of you canoodling." " I have the stamina of a tantric monk." "Some other demon was here. Son of a bitch." "You can't teach pathetic." MINGLE. "I don't understand why you can go into this place and act like buffoons." "I'm sorry, this friendship is not going to work out." "Does he have a large penis, like I have?" "It's probably the ancient toilet of Julius Caesar." We found this at the cursed tomb." MOSH. In life all things go in cycles. When I first attended the MOSH almost one year ago, it was super high energy. Many sharp minded improvers complimented the atmosphere with their inate brilliance. I suppose we all have only so much time; many of our compatriots now experience IMPRODOME, and do not bring their energy to the MOSH. The Mosh is there still, and it is fun, and it is a great opportunity to exercise our mental muscles. See you at the theater. Steve

Kelly Buttermore and Me

I was blessed with the opportunity to bask in the richness of Kelly Buttermores' one woman show, last Monday night, at the Peoples Improv Theater. Unfortunately, this was the last show. I heard someone say "This is so great, they may bring it back." Kelly tells the riveting tale of her birth, miracle existance, life and desires, through her own voice, and through the voice of her Grandfather. The show was fun. I could picture her Grandfather; more than that, my mind was transported back to the evening Kelly and I improved at Molassi (the slow jam). In our scene Kelly played the part of a girl. I played her much older Father. I prattled on and on about my life experiences. In our scene this all seemed irrevelant to Kelly; this is how it is in life. (Truth in Comedy). Kellys' rendition of her Grandfather reminded me of me in our scene. Perhaps it is my ego, still, I wonder: did our scene help create the genesis of an idea?